Memorable First Time Sexual Experiences: Gendered Patterns and Nuances

Abstract

This exploratory qualitative research study examined college students’ memorable narratives regarding their first sexual experience, and how those encounters inform current sexual practices. Drawing from a large national data set, the study explores the narratives of 100 women and men who were attending college on one of three diverse U.S. campuses in 2012. Utilizing a qualitative content analytic methodological framework, we found that women and men frame their first sexual experiences, in terms of message valence (positive, negative, neutral), in similar ways. Yet, subsequent thematic analysis of these messages reveals that gendered patterns and nuances exist in terms of positively framed (great experience; thoughtful, good decision; a special experience; and positive communicative experience) and negatively framed (undesired consequences, rape/abuse, regrets, and unpleasurable to horrible experiences) themes. Following an explication of how these thematic insights are more aptly understood through a gendered lens, directions for future research and implications for research, theory, and practice are provided.

Keywords:

• First Sexual Experiences
• Gender
• Memorable Experiences
• Memorable Messages
• Narratology
• Qualitative Content Analysis
• Sex

Notes

Note. The categories used in coding and thematization of narratives were not separate or discrete. Several narratives included comments that reflected both positive and negative evaluative comments and insights reflective of one or more themes. Consequently the numbers and percentages in Table 1 do not match exactly.

The open-ended self-descriptions that participants provided were coded in terms of different demographic variables. While each category had a significant number of missing data, we do know the following about the sample in terms of: age (29% under 20; 60% in their 20s; 10% unreported), gender (61% female; 26% male; 13% unreported); race/ethnicity (44% White, 26% Black, 4% Hispanic, 4%, multiracial; 21% unreported); and region (45% midwest campus, 31% northeast campus, 24% southern campus). Of the 100 narratives analyzed for this study, only four were authored by a participant whom did not explicitly identify as male or female. Our assumption is that the remaining participants explicitly named gender in their self-descriptions because it represents a salient aspect of their sexual identities.

Participants were asked to provide their most memorable sexual memory (broadly defined), one which most influences their current sexual practices. Of the 476 responses, 100 included descriptions of first-time sexual experiences. This smaller data subset is the focus on our analysis.

Within our discussion of gendered nuances, we draw from the seminal work of Bem (1981) by using gender expression (i.e., femininity, masculinity, and adrogngy) as a frame of reference. As conceptualized, femininity refers to personality traits such as conscientious, flatterable, compassionate, and sympathetic. Masculinity includes characteristics such as self-reliant, independent, dominant, strong, and forceful. Androgny is a description for those communicators whose styles reflect both feminine and masculine charateristics. While this frame of reference provides another level of understanding communicative behaviors, it is important to note that these characterizations are social constructions. In other words, personal characteristics are not naturally “masculine” or “feminine;” yet they have been labeled as such within certain societal structures.

Nonconsensual sex—including rape, molestation, and abuse—appears to be largely muted in existing research on virginity loss (e.g., Carpenter, 2005) and first sexual experiences (e.g., Sprecher et al., 1995). As such, researchers are failing to understand the powerful impact of first sexual experiences that individuals endure with no agency of choice in the matter.

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Mark P. Orbe

Mark P. Orbe (Ph.D., Ohio University, 1993) is a Professor in the School of Communication/Center for Gender & Women's Studies at Western Michigan University.

Amber L. Johnson

Amber L. Johnson (Ph.D., Pennsylvania State University, 2006) is an Assistant Professor in the Department of Language and Communication at Prairie View A&M University.

Lydia D. Kauffman

Lydia D. Kauffman (B.A., Western Michigan University, 2013) is an Undergraduate Student at WMU School of Communication.

Angela F. Cooke-Jackson

Angela F. Cooke-Jackson (Ph.D., University of Kentucky, 2006) is an Assistant Professor in Communication Studies at Emerson College.