‘Memories are made of this’: personal reflections on the creation and maintenance of memorials and mementoes

Abstract

In this article the author draws on personal experiences, amongst them the sudden, unexpected death of her own son, to explore the challenges and benefits of creating memorials and mementoes following a significant death. The article supports existing work which argues for the importance of mementoes in creating meaning, particularly in a culture where death is still largely sequestered from public discourse. The author uses examples from her son's death, combined with the experiences of parents in her research study, exploring professional intervention following sudden, unexpected child death. These examples demonstrate that parents may require extremely pragmatic support, for example advice on how to scatter ashes and whether to establish memorials in perpetuity. The article concludes that the prevailing culture of concealment around death could be challenged by a targeted programme of death education, which includes practical advice on creating enduring memorials and mementoes.

Keywords:

• death education
• child death
• memorials
• memoir
• cremation
• ashes