Unforeseen and Transformative: New Dimensions in the Third Quarter of My Life

Abstract

Themes of the transformation marking the third quarter of my life were (a) an integration of non-Western philosophies and cultural traditions into my personal and professional perspective, (b) a deepening patience with the change process, (c) a recognition of the competing roles of personal accountability and context, (d) increasing internal energy and conceptualization power, and (e) realization of attitudinal shifts, physical and cognitive diminishment, altered coping styles, reordered priorities, and intimations of mortality that come with aging. My background is in teacher education for desegregating multiethnic schools. The changes I describe here were triggered by my husband's coming out as gay; my remarriage; my travels in Asia; explorations of science and metaphysics; founding the worldwide Straight Spouse Network to support, counsel, and educate straight spouses of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender partners and their families; moving to a retirement community; and activism to achieve equality in society, especially within faith communities.

KEYWORDS:

• aging
• bisexual
• counseling
• lesbian
• or trans partners
• social change
• straight spouses of gay