Fear of losing it: an auto-ethnographic case study exploring re-triggered loss experiences during psychotherapy training

ABSTRACT

The aim of this article is to explore loss experiences within a counselling and psychotherapy training arena, an environment that effects individual change. We use an auto-ethnographic case study format and data in the form of photographs, hybridised client material, journal entries and commentaries in order to reflexively consider loss material. We do this with a view to creating a narrative that enables readers to consider their emotions, thoughts and reactions to the material presented. We conclude that loss and grief can be re-triggered. Loss is inevitable. However, hidden loss affects the ability to manage change and has the potential to create transgenerational patterns.

KEYWORDS:

• Counselling
• psychotherapy
• training
• bereavement
• loss
• reflexivity

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author(s).

Correction Statement

This article has been republished with minor changes. These changes do not impact the academic content of the article.

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Karen Bateson

Karen Bateson is a BACP registered Psychotherapist. She completed an MA in Psychotherapy and Counselling at the University of Leeds in 2018. The topic of her final year research project was informed consent, which she presented at the BACP Research Conference in Belfast in 2019.

John Lees

John Lees is a psychotherapist and supervisor working in private practice in London and East Sussex. He is registered with the United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP) and accredited with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP). He is also Associate Professor of Psychotherapy and Counselling at the University of Leeds, UK, course leader for the training in anthroposophic psychotherapy in the UK and a Board member of the International Federation of Anthroposophic Psychotherapy Associations (IFAPA).

Gillian Proctor

Gillian Proctor is the programme leader of the MA in psychotherapy and counselling at the University of Leeds, UK. She has written on the subjects of power, and ethics and values in particular, and is the editor of the journal Self & Society.

Netalie Shloim

Netalie Shloim is a psychotherapist and supervisor working in private practice in Leeds, UK, and in Israel. She is a registered member of the United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP). Netalie is a lecturer on the MA in counselling and psychotherapy in Leeds University, UK. Her research and publications focus on eating disorders, maternal and infant feeding interactions, maternal well-being, attachment and trauma.