May–December Lesbian Relationships: Power Storms or Blue Skies?

SUMMARY

What are the implications when there is considerable difference in the ages of partners in a lesbian couple? May–December lesbian relationships are those where partners are at least 10 years apart in age, and where both partners are over 30. These relationships have been either neglected or valorized in the psychological literature. Differences in socially ascribed power, women's socialization against acknowledging power, the value the lesbian community places on egalitarianism, and the interaction of other privileges, combine to impact these couples. The fluid nature of power dynamics in May–December lesbian relationships is highlighted and explored. Finally, ways that age-variant lesbian couples can navigate these power differentials in healthy ways are addressed.

KEYWORDS:

• Lesbians
• lesbian couples
• age-variant relationships
• feminist
• relational power

Acknowledgments

The author thanks Carmen Cruz and Linda Louden for their insightful conversations and organizational contributions to this article. Special appreciation is due to Christianne McKee for her willingness to engage the issues discussed in this article on both theoretical and personal levels. Without her, this article would not have been possible.

Cindy M. Bruns, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, in practice at the Texas Woman's University Counseling Center and in private practice in Dallas, Texas. She obtained her Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the California School of Professional Psychology—San Francisco Bay Area, where her dissertation research was on complex post-traumatic stress following sexual trauma. She has also been a contributing author to the journal Women and Therapy.

Notes

1. An important exception is the analysis of power issues and attendant challenges faced by interracial gay and lesbian couples (e.g., Greene, 1994; Poon, 2000).