An Italian-American view of grief: connection, transformation and resilience

Abstract

Current theories regarding grief and mourning often acknowledge continued connection and reworking of the relationship to the lost person rather than relinquishing ties and bonds, and acknowledge the importance of culture in grief and mourning. Although there is little research regarding Italian-Americans and grieving, these ideas fit well with the description described by researchers as ‘Italians tend to keep their dead with them’. This paper explores Italian-American responses to the loss of a loved one. It comprises a brief summary of relevant literature around grieving, followed by an overview of themes from Italian traditions and culture that inform our thinking about Italian-Americans and grief. The authors, as participants in both the culture and the experience of grief, briefly situate themselves vis-à-vis these experiences. Three segments then illustrate our concepts of continued bonds and reworking relationships: a pilot study of Italian-Americans’ experiences of loss and grieving over time, a normative case study of one woman’s creative, ongoing response to major loss, and the importance of objects after loss from a research project of daughters who have lost their dads. Conclusions focus on the importance and complexity of mourning; the centrality of relationship; the use of symbol, ritual and meaning-making; and development of resiliency, for Italian-Americans and perhaps other groups.

Keywords:

• Grief
• mourning
• Italian-American culture
• continued bonds
• resilience and relationship

Acknowledgements

Special thanks to Theodore Ellenhorn, Ph.D., of Antioch University New England, for his comments on an earlier version of this article as a presentation at the American Psychology Association Convention.

Notes

1. Prior to her passing, Mrs. Stella gave her permission for her name to be used, and was happy to share this part of her family history and personal experience.