Being brown: An autoethnographic exploration of internalised colonisation

Abstract

We are all contextualised within our personal and political histories. In this text, I seek to reflect on ‘internalised colonisation’ by means of an autoethnography, using post-colonial and psychodynamic theory to deconstruct and make sense of my lived experience. I explore how the complex colonial dynamics of India and Britain play themselves out within my being and lived experiences as an Indian student in the UK. I use this text as a plea to legitimise the exploration of racism and other forms of discrimination within the therapy room as they can be experienced as deeply personal, violent and intimately traumatic. When we develop the capacity to delve into not just our personal but political pasts, we begin to acknowledge the depth of colonial trauma and its relevance even today.

Keywords:

• race
• autoethnography
• colonisation
• discrimination

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author.

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Rhea S. Gandhi

Rhea Gandhi is a psychotherapist and group analyst-in-training based in Mumbai, India. She is visiting faculty at St. Xavier’s College, Mumbai’s Postgraduate Department of Psychology and the Chairperson of the Indian Chapter of the International Attachment Network. Her research and professional interests seek to explore how our socio-political pasts and present, diversity, difference and power are all interwoven into complex narratives, seeping into our inner world and influencing our relationships with ourselves and others. She is a queer affirmative practitioner and also views therapy as a space for healing systemic, transgenerational wounds and undoing hegemonic trauma, using a social justice lens to contextualise individuals and groups.