Abstract
What do I see when I gaze at an older man? What do I think he sees when he looks at me? In my case, a Chinese American gay man in my 30s, this means that we will have to talk about ethnicity, culture, age, homosexuality, and their intersection. This is a tricky subject because there are no singular ways in which people see these things. Yet it is a necessary one because they inevitably shape our experiences of others and thus our desire for them.
Notes
1Stephen Hartman pointed out that I have typed “asian” in the lowercase, and on reflection I think it makes sense to keep it that way. To me, an asian man would be on par with a white man. It does not refer to a formal category, such as nationality or ethnic origin. If that were the case, I'd choose to specify the ethnic group, for example, I'm a Chinese man.
2The earlier Hannibal reference makes more sense now.
3One of my favorite Chinese snacks is salted, preserved plums. I imagine that other Asian cultures have a different relationship to old sour things as well.