Change, Changing, and Being Changed: A Self-study of a teacher educator's becoming real in the throes of urban school reform

Abstract

Set against an organized school reform backdrop, this inquiry features four challenges I faced as a result of working alongside teachers and principals whose urban schools were awarded major school research grants for a 5-year period. In addition to teasing out the origins of the dilemmas I encountered and showing how they impacted my teaching practice, I make two knowledge contributions through my public presentation of this self-study. First, I add a new set of partnered narratives—the stories of teacher educators/teacher educators' stories of self. Second, I extend my research niche to reveal the role I played as a living, breathing dimension of the educational conduit.

Rabbit: What is REAL? Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?

Skin Horse: Real isn't how you are made … It's a thing that happens to you …

Rabbit: Does it hurt?

Skin Horse: Sometimes … When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.

Rabbit: Does it happen all at once, like being wound up … or bit by bit?

Skin Horse: It doesn't happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time. (Williams, 1958, p. 5)

Acknowledgement

A Learning and Leadership Grant from the National Education Association, funded in part by Staples Recycle for Education, supported this inquiry. My planning and evaluation work was made possible through grants awarded to the participating schools and my formal evaluation work was sponsored through a university subcontract. An earlier version of this paper was presented at the Self Study of Teacher Education Practices Conference at Herstmonceux Castle, England, June 27–July 1, 2004.