The psychological impact of an unreliable father on his son and on the family: Therapeutic interventions with the child and within the family system

ABSTRACT

This paper explores the impact of an erratic, unreliable and toxic father on the psychological development of his son, Nicola, an eight-year-old boy, who, lacking an empathic selfobject experience with his father, developed emotional dysregulated reactions and aggressive behaviors. The clinical report shows how the child communicated his distress through such behaviors with his mother, at school, and in the therapy sessions. The pervasive affective presence of the father, notwithstanding his unpredictability and substantial absence, reverberated on the family system, because the mother’ ambivalence towards him was a source of conflict and confusion for Nicola. Play therapy and additional family meetings created the emotional space to process the feelings haunting the child and nourishing his anger and confusion. The mother had created the image of an unapproachable father and denied the child pain and resentment for his absence. Therefore, Nicola did not understand his anger and disappointment towards his father, and even less his continuously frustrated need to be close to him. The clinical report of the therapeutic play interactions between analyst and child centers on an impasse and its eventual resolution which stimulated change in the whole family system. Child treatment requires attention to the entire family as a condition for the child to work through his affective experience via symbolic play and, for the mother to acquire a healthy limit setting and emotional responsiveness to her son’s affective experience.

KEYWORDS:

• Child psychotherapy
• parenting. unreliable father
• parent psychotherapy
• play space

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author(s).

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Simona Caprilli

Simona Caprilli, PhD, is Psychology, Psychotherapist specialized in clinical psychology at University of Florence and in Relational Psychoanalysis and Self Psychology in ISIPSè- Rome. She is ISIPSè associated. She is IARPP and IAPSP member. She exercises private practice as Psychology and Psychotherapist in Florence, Italy.

From 2000 until 2015 she has worked at Pediatric Hospital of Florence AUO MEYER as clinical psychologist. She participated in many national and international meetings and she has publications on international journals on pediatric psychology.