ABSTRACT
As I had been lectured to by a physician about the dangers of morphine use in my child, I agonized over allowing its administration, which only prolonged my son's suffering. It is one of my biggest regrets upon looking back on Austin's time here on earth. A lack of education on the positive benefits of morphine actually increased the time of his suffering. It's still hard to digest. When Austin received morphine he did not stop breathing, die, or lose his personality as I had feared. Instead, he was able to regain some of the weight he had lost during his bouts with dystonia and spasticity and could enjoy life within reason. He could even smile again, something that I had not seen in a full month of his suffering in the hospital. He died at age 14, but not before enduring other periods of time dealing with horrific spasms. Austin's pain became unmanageable in February 2005 and I had to make the painful decision to withdraw nutrition and hydration in order to end his horrible suffering, as there was no cure for the disease he had and no end in sight for the pain.