Lived experiences in help-seeking from the perspective of a mother with a dual diagnosis

Figures & data

Figure 1 Life events (on the left), the use of services (grey lines), and the subjective experiences of using services (in cursive) during 13 years.

Table I Themes of the interviews.

Interview no.	Themes
1	Learning to know the participant and developing trust. The individual and her family, the social network, background and education, abuse of substances, mental health.
2	Family everyday life: success and times of trouble in relation to taking drugs and mental health.
3	Growth into motherhood and life in relation to drug abuse and suicidality. The many roles.
4	Help and support received and discussion on themes arising from the earlier interviews. Ending the collaboration.

Table II Examples of data.

Example of original data extract:
It was then that I realized that drugs are taking me 10-0. So, so it was as for motherhood the worst time, so I could not any more. I could not so sort of hold together the coulisse, together, and I did not endure to use drugs, and I did not endure being without either, and then I sort of nestled and sort of. So I have always been very sociable and a lot dealing with other people and then I nestled sort of, in a sort of, so I was just alone at home and I wept and the children saw me crying and I felt really bad and I was quite irritated on myself. And I just went on destroying myself, so of course I also at the same time destroyed my children at the side, and then when you want to be a good mother, and I believe that everybody wants to be a good mother, so, so it was so contradictory situation inside myself. And so I wanted something else than I then acted, that sort of gnawed extensively and then started to grow, that I want to die and I want my children out of this awful world and I was as a failed mother.
Examples of thematized original meaning units:
“I want to be a good mother and I do not want to use drugs”
So then I didn't anymore have the strength to be a mother, I was so disappointed into what I wanted to be and then I could not manage to be like that
It was such a disappointment to me that when I was so, everybody wants to be a good mother and so so that, then so that I also had to use during, it was so that so that, hey what is it with me?
Examples of researcher's reflexion (notes) on thematized original meaning units:
A controversial awakening?
Contradictions and movements?—contradictory convalescence—motive is born?
->Researcher looked for other similar examples in data
Examples of meaning units and original data extracts (disbelief of receiving help and admitting the need for help):
I was irritated by people who felt sorry for me
I can manage, and that also comes from childhood, as I have been forced to cope
So I didn't really accept help from anybody, and that kind of things
You need to manage, good girls don't cry, you have to go forward in life
It changed into positivity; they really want to help me, why don't I give them a chance?
I needn't always manage by myself
I gave myself permission to invest in myself and my care

Figure 2 The analysis process and questions guiding the researcher.

Figure 3 The lived experiences, intentions, and motives in help-seeking from the perspective of a mother with a dual diagnosis.