“Sex is sweet”: women from low-income contexts in Uganda talk about sexual desire and pleasure

Abstract

In many patriarchal societies in Africa, heterosexuality is privileged as the single legitimate form of sexual interaction; other sexualities are marginalised because they are perceived as un-African, abnormal, sinful and are repressed. Female sexuality too is subordinated and controlled with it being reduced to women’s conventional mothering roles that are conflated with their reproductive capacities. However, there is evidence that women in heterosexual relations have the opportunity to assert themselves and to define pleasurable sex. Drawing on in-depth interviews and focus group discussions with married women in heterosexual unions the article examines the extent to which women from low-income contexts in Uganda express their sexual agency. The findings show that within heterosexual relations, these women are able to express their sexual desires freely and negotiate diverse options for pleasurable sexual experiences. The evidence indicates the need for acknowledging variations within heterosexual experiences and the possibility of positive heterosexual relationships that resist hegemonic masculinity and subordinated femininity.

Résumé

Dans beaucoup de sociétés patriarcales d’Afrique, l’hétérosexualité est privilégiée comme la seule forme légitime d’interaction sexuelle; d’autres sexualités sont marginalisées, car perçues comme non africaines, anormales, coupables, et sont réprimées. La sexualité féminine est aussi subordonnée et contrôlée, réduite au rôle traditionnel de mère associé aux capacités de procréation des femmes. Néanmoins, il semble que les femmes dans les relations hétérosexuelles aient l’occasion de s’affirmer et de définir des relations sexuelles agréables. Se fondant sur des entretiens approfondis et des discussions en groupe avec des femmes mariées dans des relations hétérosexuelles, l’article examine dans quelle mesure les femmes issues d’environnements à faible revenu en Ouganda expriment leurs préférences en matière de sexualité. Les conclusions montrent que dans le cadre de relations hétérosexuelles, ces femmes sont capables d’exprimer librement leurs désirs sexuels et de négocier plusieurs options pour éprouver du plaisir dans les rapports sexuels. Les faits observés soulignent la nécessité de reconnaître les variations au sein des expériences hétérosexuelles et la possibilité de relations hétérosexuelles positives qui s’opposent à la masculinité hégémonique et la féminité subordonnée.

Resumen

En muchas sociedades patriarcales en Ãfrica, la heterosexualidad es privilegiada como la única forma legítima de interacción sexual; otras sexualidades son marginadas porque son percibidas como no africanas, anormales y pecaminosas, y son reprimidas. La sexualidad femenina está demasiado subordinada y controlada, ya que es reducida a los roles convencionales de maternidad, que son fusionados con sus capacidades reproductivas. Sin embargo, existe evidencia de que las mujeres en relaciones heterosexuales tienen la oportunidad de ser firmes y de definir el sexo placentero. Basado en entrevistas a profundidad y discusiones en grupos focales con mujeres casadas en uniones heterosexuales, este artículo examina en qué medida las mujeres de bajos ingresos en Uganda expresan su agencia sexual. Los hallazgos muestran que en relaciones heterosexuales, estas mujeres son capaces de expresar sus deseos sexuales libremente y negociar diversas opciones para tener experiencias sexuales placenteras. La evidencia indica la necesidad de reconocer variaciones en las experiencias heterosexuales y la posibilidad de tener relaciones heterosexuales positivas que resistan la masculinidad hegemónica y la feminidad subordinada.

Key words:

• Uganda
• low-income contexts
• sexual pleasure
• sexual desire
• sexuality

Introduction

Some feminist scholars argue that sexuality is a political struggle involving two domains: repression and danger on the one hand and exploration, pleasure and agency on the other.^1,2 Increasingly, literature from varied contexts, developed^3,4 and developing countries, especially Africa^5,6 suggests that within heterosexual relations, female sexual desire and pleasure are highly controlled, often reduced to women’s conventional mothering roles that are conflated with their reproductive capacities.

In Africa, sexuality is constructed within a dominant patriarchal context of political struggles for the creation and preservation of gender hierarchy,⁵ which defines men as active and dominant and women as passive and submissive. Such constructions marginalise female sexual aspects of pleasure and desire. According to Shakila Singh, men and women are entrapped within gendered discourses of romantic love that restrict them from exploring alternative positions in marriage, and they largely comply with existing gender regimes that perpetuate gender inequalities and place women in subordinate positions.⁷ The masculine privilege and expectation of female sexual passivity is reported to increase women’s HIV vulnerability in marriage.^8,9 Bhana acknowledges that affection, desire and intimacy are key to power dynamics and gender relations in relationships.¹⁰ Literature further indicates that women in poor communities living under difficult conditions rarely have a desire for sex and experience greater control and regulation of their sexuality.¹¹ Economic inequality is implicated for inhibiting women’s freedom to build loving relationships.¹⁰

While sexuality has been problematised as a site for women’s oppression, some scholars from the developed world¹² and Africa^10,13 assert that power inequality in relationships does not automatically exclude enjoyable and pleasurable experiences. They argue for recognition of differences in women’s experiences and note that the power hierarchy embedded in heterosexual relationships is not necessarily exercised uniformly and evenly at the level of interpersonal relations or practice, nor is its experience wholly determined by patriarchal structures and ideologies.^12,13 Some scholars assert that penetrative sex with men can be enjoyable and that its pleasure for women is not merely eroticised submission.^14,15 Bhana agrees with Hirsch that relations should not only be perceived in terms of male power; men and women as gendered persons express love alongside the daily battles of power.^9,10 Cognizant of women’s subordinate positions in intimate relations, Rasool records women’s capacity to contest and shape their lives as they reflect on violent love;¹⁶ women are not just victims of romantic love but find spaces to negotiate their identity, as they navigate their economic circumstances.¹⁷

The key question for this article is: how do women from low-income contexts in heterosexual unions assert themselves and define sexual desire and pleasure? The article highlights women’s sexual agency and the contradictions that surround their active participation in sexual encounters.

Methodological focus and context

The article is based on a study conducted from 2008-2011 in a low-income rural community of Bushenyi district in the western region of Uganda.^* The article is part of a larger project that aimed at exploring the linkages between gender, poverty and sexuality. It is a revised and abridged version of a chapter in an edited book on “Gender, Poverty and Social Transformation: reflections on the fractures and continuities in contemporary Uganda”. ¹⁸

A simple random selection strategy was used to select two counties (Mitooma and Sheema), then one sub-county from each, then two parishes from each, and finally two villages from each parish.

Local leaders helped to generate lists of married women from whom five were randomly selected in each village to participate in the in-depth interviews. A total of 40 women in the study district were selected.

Similarly, 10 women per village were randomly selected to participate in focus group discussions (FGDs), excluding those participating in the interviews. Overall eight FGDs (one FGD per village) were conducted with a total of 71 women. The number of women in the FGDs ranged from six to ten participants. Nine women did not participate due to family commitments.

To ensure reliability, a pre-test of the research tools was undertaken and question items were revised accordingly. Participation in the study was voluntary, with informed consent being obtained from all respondents. The interviews and FGDs were conducted in the respondents’ homes at their convenience, using the local language, and later translated into English. Participants were assured of confidentiality before the interviews and were invited to decide on the convenient venue and time of the interview.

Due to the sensitive nature of the topic, the author conducted the in-depth interviews and FGDs with the assistance of two trained married female graduate researchers in their mid-40s. The research team had to manage their identity, projecting an image that would maximize the chances of gaining access.¹⁹ This was facilitated by the letters of introduction from the Head of Department of Women and Gender Studies, Makerere University. Our knowledge of the local language (Runyankole-Rukiga), our gender position^† and my status as a university lecturer were assets, especially in establishing rapport, mutual trust and confidence. There were no financial incentives to participate in the study.

The interviews took 30-45 minutes while FGDs went on for an average of 1.5-2 hours. The interview and FGD guide interrogated a number of themes, including socio-economic and demographic background, sexual interaction, sensuality, sexual communication and decision-making, women’s views on poverty and sexual experiences, among other topics.

All interviews and discussions were recorded in audio format with the consent of the respondents, and thereafter transcribed. Thematic analysis was used to identify common themes and unique experiences emerging from the different data sets. Through identification of emerging themes and patterns from the in-depth interviews, frequencies and percentages were computed for specific issues, in particular the frequency of sexual interaction and sexual initiation. To maintain confidentiality, pseudonyms have been used to represent these women’s voices.

Women relaxing after a focus group discussion

Women’s sexual agency and expression of sexual desire

All the women in the interviews (except one) and in the FGDs indicated experiences of sexual desire and enjoyment of sexual interaction with their spouses, which they believed to be a “natural” phenomenon: “it [sexual desire] is natural and good even if one is old”, “sexual interest happens naturally for men and women”. Women’s naturalising sexual interest contradicts the post-structuralist view that sexuality is socially constructed.²¹ The women’s accounts are shaped by the Ugandan historical configuration of sexuality as a relatively naturalised aspect of life.

In both the interviews and FGDs women expressed their sexual interest to their spouses using non-verbal expressions to signal love, affection and intimacy through establishing physical contact and closeness, caressing and kissing. Other expressions of sexual desire reported by women in the study included getting the domestic chores done early; having meals together, being romantic and wearing perfume (herbs). Knowledge of the husband’s interests and what puts him in the mood made it easy for women to express their sexual needs. A typical view about this was expressed thus: “you know which spot to start or which button to push”. Women stressed the need for couples to understand each other and communicate their needs and interests. These practices indicate women’s active participation and expression of their sexual agency in sexual encounters, suggesting fractures (fractured subordination) in hetero-patriarchal relationships, which are known to define women as meek and subservient objects of male desire.²²

The findings contradict the essentialist view of most mainstream radical feminist scholarship on sexuality that defines women’s sexuality as passive and submissive with limited choices of sexual expression and pleasure.¹² Pereira, like many African feminists, cautions against universalising the suppression of women’s sexuality and their subordination.²³ Instead, she calls for consideration of the different contexts in which sexualities have been constructed, and the possibility of change in meanings and conceptualisation. These findings concur with that of scholars from other parts of the world,^5,6,23 who note that women have choices of expressing their sexual desire.

While women’s agency of sexual expression is acknowledged, overt expression of this experience remains outlandish for many women. About 52.9% of the women revealed that sexual initiation was mainly done by the men, and 45.2% of women could not express their sexual interest at all because of fear of being labelled outgoing and promiscuous. Women largely use indirect means of expression (non-verbal/signs) of their desire; with very few who could express their sexual desires verbally (“ask for sex”) to their partners:

“asking for sex? no. I fear what he might think of me … he would wonder why [I] am doing that and where I got such ideas … so I just wait for him to ask.” (Ninah, Bushenyi)

“If I do not get satisfied, I keep quiet. If you dare ask he might think you have been gossiping… he might think you are a “maraaya” [prostitute] that maybe you have started going out with other men.” (Focus Group Discussion)

According to these women, they always wait for their husbands to make advances, irrespective of whether the women are in the mood. The indirect, reticent way women use to approach sex could be explained by an inherent heteronormative culture characterised by deep-seated attitudes and beliefs that value mystical, romantic sexual experience among women. Such female compliance conforms to the social values of submission that characterise ideal femininity as defined in most African societies, Uganda inclusive.

Women’s sexual agency is further illustrated by their ability to discuss and bargain with their spouses about whether or not to have sex, particularly when the conditions are not favourable. More than half of the women in the interviews revealed that they were able to negotiate with their spouse not to have sex on certain occasions:

“When he is drunk, I leave him and sleep alone, I put a mattress down on the floor … I also tell him when I am in my periods [menstruating] …he leaves me.” (Kyomu, Bushenyi)

Similar views were echoed in the FGDs:

“If the man wants and you are not in the mood for having sex, either because you are sick or have monthly periods, you tell him, you discuss and agree.... Yes, if you do not want, you can refuse but when you want and he does not want, you have to put him in the mood … for example, if there is something I do not like, I tell him so.” (Focus Group Discussion)

These excerpts reveal women’s ability to assert themselves in sexual encounters on particular occasions, especially in cases of sickness, or stress related to fatigue and anger. Some women reported that they refused to have sex with their husbands as revenge for a husband’s refusal to respect their sexual needs, or bad behaviour, especially relating to unfulfilled responsibilities and lack of care. While some spouses accepted their wives’ requests to refrain from sex and hence stay away, rejection of sexual advances sometimes led to sexual coercion and violence, and verbal threats about and/or actual engagement in extramarital liaisons. Other studies also report that non-consensual sex is a common experience for many women in marital relations.^11,24 Such male hostility and coercion undermines women’s right to fulfilling and satisfying sex and is evidence of the taken-for-granted perception that sexual access to women, especially in marital relations, is a male right.^25,11,13

The only woman (Kaku, 46 years) who reported lack of sexual desire attributed it to ageing (menopause), use of contraceptives and overwork. According to her, sexual interaction with her husband was an obligation to fulfil her husband’s desires and to prevent him from engaging in extramarital relations. Other women also noted that ageing, overwork, sickness, contraception, quarrels between spouses, alcoholism, poverty, spouses’ lack of care and stress negatively affected their sexual desire. Other studies report that lack of joint leisure time, economic hardships and drunkenness are major causes of marital instability and inhibit sexual desire.^11,26

Marriage was noted to be a legitimate and safe space for sexual expression and interaction. All the women in the study believed that marriage accords them the right and freedom to express their sexual desires and that their spouses are expected to respond positively to their sexual advances:

“If it is your husband, any time you want it you should have it.” (Kyankazi, Bushenyi)

“I tell him that I love him. You know, when [I] am in the real mood, I tell him that I am not ok, if he cannot give immediately, he has to create time for me and satisfy me … because when you fear to tell him, whom do you expect to tell your problem? He is your husband!” (Nyabukye, Bushenyi)

Similar views were noted in FGDs as shown by an excerpt from one of the FGDs:

“When I was growing up, I knew that a man marries a woman for sex… it is sweet and enjoyable… sex is the reason we are married… when there is no sex, no marriage.” (Focus Group Discussion)

Women noted that, in marital unions, it is the duty of the spouses to satisfy each other’s sexual needs. Women perceived sexual access to their husbands as a right and claimed that men are expected to respect that right. In one of the focus groups, women noted:

“Even when he is not in the mood, he does it for you because he is your husband.” (Focus Group Discussion)

Similarly, in the interviews, one of the women noted:

“That issue [sex] concerns both of us. If we are both well, not sick, there is no reason why one cannot have sex with the other. It is the reason we are married. So it cannot be me or the man.” (Mugufu, Bushenyi)

To a local woman in this study, marriage is the right and safe space for sexual interaction and therefore women feel free to express their desire to their husbands. The findings resonate with reports about marriage as the only legitimate space for sexual expression in most African cultures.^27,28 According to Diallo, in Mali, married women have the right to request and enjoy sexual intercourse in perfect harmony with religious and customary requirements.²⁹ Engagement in sex outside marriage, especially for women, is perceived negatively, commonly associated with adultery and immorality as illustrated by this quote:

“when she [unmarried woman] stands with any man, talking about anything, society is suspicious about her sexual involvement with that man, she is seen as adulterous…”. (Focus Group Discussion)

This finding corroborates studies conducted in Uganda and elsewhere where sexual activity among unmarried adults is regarded as adultery and a breach of trust.^8,28 Women in this study noted that marriage creates a sense of maturity in society and accords them a higher social status and respect. In Tanzania, women seek stable relationships with men as a means to protect their respectability.²⁷ However, despite the negative perceptions and stigma associated with women’s (and men’s) engagement in extramarital liaisons, such relationships have been reported in Uganda and other countries but are often discreet or covert.^8,9 In Tanzania, modern women are increasingly choosing to remain single, to maintain independence and avoid strict control by men.²⁷

Sex as an obligation in marriage (to which many women in the study alluded) compromises women’s freedom of expression because they feel obliged to have sex even when they are not ready for it, as noted by Muraingwa:

“Even when you are tired you cannot say, ‘no, no, I will not have it’. You know, for a man, when you refuse, he can go somewhere else.” (Muraingwa, Bushenyi)

Such sexual encounters could constrain women’s sexual agency, undermine their rights to fulfilling and pleasurable sexuality, and reinforce male patriarchal power.

Sexual interaction and pleasure

It is evident that regular “good” and satisfying sex is one of the prerequisites for having a successful marriage, good relationships with a spouse as well as good quality of life, as stressed by women in the study. The frequency of sexual interaction, in particular sexual intercourse, was therefore associated with the quality of a relationship. A large proportion of women in the interviews reported that they had sex 3-4 times a week (45%); 22% had sex daily, 20% had sex 1-2 times a week; and 13% had sex 1-2 times a month. The frequency of sex appeared to depend on the availability of the spouse and be reduced by sickness, drunkenness, contraception and stress associated with quarrels, fatigue (workload), and poverty. Most of the women noted that heavy workload interfered with their mood for sexual interaction and pleasure. All the women in both the interviews and FGDs observed that creating time for each other enhances intimacy and leads to happy relationships. They however stressed that the frequency of sexual interaction between spouses does not secure happy relationships if there is no fulfilment and pleasure.

Women in the study revealed a range of intimate sexual practices that they employ to enhance their pleasure and to ensure enjoyable, satisfying sexual experiences. They valued adequate preparation as a precursor to having enjoyable and satisfying sexual encounters through elongation of the labia minora;^‡ drinking and wearing of herbs^§ that are known to have aphrodisiac effects; foreplay; attending to personal hygiene and using perfumed jelly.

The study participants reported that they engage diverse techniques or styles, using different positions to enjoy the encounter, including the lying and sitting position, striking the glans and the body of the clitoris (a sexual practice commonly referred to as Kacabari by the Banyankore). A typical view of this experience is illustrated by one of the women:

“I like him biting my fingers when we are romancing and stroking my hair. I also enjoy his kisses … I sing for him, I ask him to do Kacabari.” ^** (Joy, Bushenyi).

According to the women in the study, lying position (on top of the man) offers greater sexual autonomy and safeguards women’s power. Women detested sexual penetration from behind, asserting that it “detaches” the woman from the partner”: you do not feel connected” and “you are not in control of the event”. According to most women, varying the styles and positions (mutually agreed upon) during sexual encounters enhances sexual pleasure and satisfaction. Preference and value for a variety of sexual styles in enhancing intimacy was also reported among men by Hirsch.⁹

In line with the findings of this study, Bizimana found that women are not just passive recipients of men’s sexual penetration but also actively participate in the encounter by choosing the position, forms and the intensity of the rhythm and movement³¹ and setting the boundaries of the encounter.³² In Uganda, the Baganda women use coloured and flowered bead belts.²⁸ These findings contest the massive literature on the active-passive dichotomy that has been used to describe women’s sexuality as passive.^5,12

All the women expressed the view that sex was a valued aspect of a successful and happy marriage. Accordingly, women noted that “sex is sweet, when there is no sex there is no marriage”, “it is enjoyable”, “you feel good and relaxed”. Women associated “good” and satisfying sex with stable relationships.

“Sex is important for our lives. You feel good. The man needs a touch, he also feels good. The relationship between husband and wife depends on the quality of sex. If there is no sex, there are frequent quarrels and fights at home, there is no peace.” (Focus Group Discussion)

“Sex is important for production of children and keeping your marriage. When he is not satisfied, he will find someone who can satisfy him.” (Focus Group Discussion)

Respondents believe that sexual interaction enhances well-being, intimacy, promotes happy and long-lasting relationships, and prevents extramarital relationships. According to some women, greater intimacy leads to joint planning and increased productivity. The findings resonate with other studies which show that sexual pleasure and satisfaction leads to fulfilment and well-being,³³ reduces violence in marital relationships³⁴ and contributes to securing a good marriage.²⁹

Some women in this study spoke of their experiences when, in search of “happiness and enjoyment” they had to get sex from men other than their husbands. Other studies in Uganda, Tanzania and Mali reveal women’s engagement in extramarital relationships in their search for sexual fulfilment.^27,28 According to Diallo, a man’s impotence is valid ground for divorce in Mali, which points to the importance attached to women’s sexual needs.²⁹ Arnfred and Haram provide evidence of women’s engagement in negotiations for extramarital sexual, romantic love involving notions of reciprocity, equality and compatibility.^5,27

The participants of this study stressed that sexual enjoyment and satisfaction can only be attained when the interaction is mutual and reciprocal, done in a relaxed and stress-free environment. Other factors that were noted to enhance sexual pleasure and satisfaction include faithfulness, caring for and understanding each other; adequate communication about each other’s interests, love and respect:

“First of all, you should love each other as a couple because without love, sex cannot be enjoyable. There is also need to help each other. It is the peace of mind. Without peace, you can’t have sex. Then also eating and you get satisfied. I cannot have sex when I feel hungry.” (Jane, Bushenyi)

Contrary to women’s expectations of giving and receiving of sexual satisfaction and enjoyment as an obligation on both spouses in marital unions, men were reported to pursue their own desires and pleasures:

“You know some men do not even care whether their wives get satisfied, reach the climax [orgasm] or not. But when they go out with other women, they make sure they finish properly … a man does not care whether a woman reaches the climax or not as long as he has gotten satisfied.” (Focus Group Discussion)

Similar opinions were voiced in the interviews. This perceived behaviour by men is a reflection of the prevailing context of gender inequality, where women’s sexuality is about giving and pleasing, while men’s sexuality is about their own experience and power. The finding concurs with a study done by Shakila in South Africa, where young men presented emotionally detached explanations to intimacy in marriage goals and women offered idealized notions of love and romance.⁷

While economic stress featured as a remarkable hindrance to intimacy in marital relations, the rural women in this study demonstrated their ability to seek autonomy in sexual encounters through traditional practices (as reported above) and use of local resources to ensure enjoyable and satisfying relationships. The women’s accounts question the universal postulation, for instance by Maitra and Schensul, that women in low-income communities rarely desire sex and are not in control of their sexuality.¹¹ Such assumptions demand consideration of context in which such experiences are reported. This belief is supported by Haram’s study in Tanzania, which notes that while some women are likely to terminate affairs if their lovers suffer financial setbacks, women are known to stick to their lovers even in times of poverty.²⁷ However, Bhana notes that intimate relations are structured by gender conflicts and social circumstances which are partly linked to materiality and poverty.¹⁰

Conclusion

The study findings show women’s naturalisation and normalisation of sexual desire and pleasure that are expressed and experienced in diverse ways within the socially regulated space - marriage. In this space, although positioned as subordinates, women actively express their sexual agency. Women in this study spoke of sex not only as pleasurable but also as something that they actively pursued through diverse practices (overt and covert). These practices appeared to offer possibilities for positive and pleasurable experiences in heterosexual relationships that enable women to be active subjects rather than passive objects of male sexual desire and pleasure. The evidence of sexual agency provided in these accounts illustrates the fractured subordination that characterises patriarchal heterosexual relationships in contemporary Uganda.

The existence of diverse options for expressing sexual desire and pleasure indicates the need to appreciate differences in meaning and experiences of sexual interaction in heterosexual relationships while acknowledging the creative capacity of women to subvert the structural conditions they are assumed to be subordinated to.

Recognising positive heterosexual experiences allows more inclusive feminist politics that could apply to a wider group of women. Women’s emphasis on active involvement (mutual and reciprocal) of both spouses in the sexual encounters reveals that the active/passive dichotomy common in most of the literature about gender and sexuality should not be taken to be universally applicable to all women.

Reflecting on women from low-income contexts and sexual desire and pleasure, the findings illustrate the importance of materiality in enhancing intimacy in sexual relations. Economic stress was referred to by women as an important factor that inhibits sexual fulfilment in marital unions.

The paradoxes identified as surrounding women’s sexuality in Ugandan society reveal a social context of persistent gender inequality and resistance to change in women’s status. Nevertheless, the findings show the need for a discourse that acknowledges variations within heterosexual experiences and the possibility of positive and enjoyable heterosexual relationships that resist hegemonic masculinity and subordinated femininity.

Acknowledgements

Gratitude is extended to the research assistants for their valuable support to the research process; and all the women who participated in the study for their willing exchange of views, experiences and ideas.

Financial support was obtained from the Norwegian government, under the Norwegian Programme for Development, Research and Education (NUFU) grant: NUFUPRO-2007/10127. This article is a shortened version of a book chapter in an edited book - “Gender, Poverty and Social Transformation: reflections on the fractures and continuities in contemporary Uganda” ¹⁸ that was published by Fountain Publishers in 2014.

Notes

* Bushenyi district has since been split into five districts, namely, Mitooma, Bushenyi, Rubirizi, Buhweju and Sheema. The study was conducted in Mitooma and Sheema, which were, at the time, counties.

† Holland and Ramazanoglu argue that differences in gender influence interaction in interviews.²⁰

‡ The labia contribute to sexual stimulation and pleasure during sexual encounters and labia elongation is a common practice among the Banyankore and other cultures across Uganda.³⁰

§ Local herbs are inserted into the vagina a few minutes before going to bed to facilitate lubrication.

** Participatory, pleasurable singing as distinct from groans or cries, called okusikina, is a key manifestation of women’s agency in the participation and control of the sexual act.