‘Playing Like Men’: The Extramarital Experiences of Women in Contemporary Japan

Abstract

Women's sexuality in Japan has persistently been linked to reproduction, while men's sexuality is associated with play, and the patriarchal structure of Japanese society even endorses male infidelity. In recent years, however, there are indications, especially in the popular media in Japan, that many married women are ‘playing like men’ by turning to extramarital activities to re-negotiate the meaning of sexuality and the bounds of marriage. While their behaviour can be interpreted as autonomous acts of affirming themselves as subjects of their own desire, dominant power structures still exist in Japanese society to restrict women's sexuality. This article examines the growing ‘gender instability’ in marriage in Japan as married women navigate through the morally contentious realm of extramarital activities to negotiate a new sense of self, and argues for sexuality as an increasingly embattled terrain for socio-historical manoeuvrings, media enticements, marital strategies, and personal insurgencies in postindustrial Japan.

Keywords:

• Extramarital relations
• gender
• sexuality
• popular media
• Japan

Acknowledgements

This article is indebted to too many to name individually since its inception as part of my Masters dissertation at Sophia University (Japan), and later as part of my doctoral research at the University of Oxford. Just to name a few, I am grateful to Anne Allison, Peter Cave, James Farrer, David Gellner, Roger Goodman, Kim Hyun-Mee, David Slater, and Ueno Chizuko for their valuable input. I am also grateful for the financial support provided by the Sophia University Scholarship, Adachi Scholarship, and Watanuki Foundation in Japan, and the Bagby Scholarship from the Institute of Social and Cultural Anthropology of the University of Oxford. Most of all, I would like to thank the editors and reviewers of this journal for their support, suggestions, and comments.

Notes

I have used pseudonyms for all the informants’ names to preserve their anonymity.

The Japanese word furin means ‘adultery’, and daburu means ‘double’. Daburu furin is used in Japan to describe an extramarital relationship in which both parties are married, albeit each to a different partner.

Japanese psychologist Doi (1971) likens the inter-dependent nature of social relations in Japan to the natural bond between a mother and an infant.

The average age of first marriage was 25.9 years for men, and 23 years for women in 1950, but the figures rose significantly to 30.2 years for men, and 28.5 years for women in 2008 (MHLW 2009: 16). Marriage rates in Japan, on the other hand, declined from 10% per 1,000 of the country's population in 1970, to 5.8% in 2008.

Japan's fertility rate fell from 4.3 children per woman of childbearing age in 1947, to 1.75 babies in 1980 (Kingston 2004: 279), and to the lowest rate ever recorded of 1.26 in 2005 (MHLW 2009: 14).

The number of people aged 65 years and above accounted for 22.1% of Japan's total population of 127.69 million in 2008. This segment of the population is projected to comprise 39.6% of a significantly reduced total estimated population of 95.15 million in 2050 (MHLW 2009: 11).

The British company Durex (2004: 10) reported in a global survey in 2004 that sexual intercourse among married couples was less frequent in Japan than in any other of the 41 OECD countries. This later triggered many media reports on sexlessness in marriage in Japan by The Yomiuri Weekly and The Mainichi Daily in Japan; The Guardian in the United Kingdom; and The Sydney Morning Herald in Australia.

A proliferation of discourses began to emerge in educational reforms and corporate policies in the 1980s to encourage individuals to pursue ‘one's own kind of’ lifestyles (jibunrashii seikatsu), ‘self-discovery’ (jikohakken), and ‘self-realization’ (jikojitsugen), which were a part of the Japanese state's efforts to raise corporate profitability by pushing the cost of staff-training on to individuals (Mouer and Sugimoto 1986: 196).

This drama, based on a novel by the same title by Kamata (1986), was broadcast by Tokyo Broadcasting Station between 2 November 1983 and 13 May 1984.

This drama is based on a novel by Watanabe (2004), which was initially published as a series of short stories in the Nihon Keizai Shimbun (Japan's equivalent of The Financial Times).

This drama is compiled from ‘conversations’ among anonymous individuals in an Internet chatroom, where a Japanese man expressed his frustrations and fears about his wife's infidelity.

The drama is produced from a novel by Ariyoshi (1968).

This movie is based on a novel by Ekuni (2001).

In 1975, 40% of Japan's total female workforce of 19.3 million were self-employed and family workers, while nearly 60% were company employees (MIAC 2008). By 2006, only 14% out of Japan's total female workforce of 25.5 million were self-employed and family workers, while 86% were company employees.

Japan's divorce rate rose from 1.51 per 1,000 of the population in 1983, to 1.99 in 2008 (MHLW 2009: 16).

Fuess's study of divorced mothers in Osaka showed that approximately 10%–20% of fathers had historically contributed to the support of their children, prompting women to accept a lump sum final settlement instead of alimonies paid in instalments even though the total amount of the latter was greater.