Who’s Distressed by Sexual Difficulties? Exploring Associations Between Personal, Perceived Partner, and Relational Distress and Sexual Difficulties in Heterosexual Men and Women

Abstract

While not all sexual difficulties cause distress, research and clinical experience suggest that, apart from personal distress, partner and relational sexual distress are also often an important reason to seek professional help. The current study explored the associations between personal, perceived partner, and relational distress that men and women experience as a result of sexual difficulties. Data from heterosexual Flemish individuals ages 16 to 74 who were in a relationship (13,800 men and 13,242 women, mean age of 43.69, SD = 14.94) were collected via an online survey. Presence and severity of sexual difficulties and associated personal, perceived partner, and relational sexual distress were assessed. Among men and women with desire difficulties, either the three types of sexual distress were almost equally common or partner distress was most common. Arousal, orgasm, and sexual pain difficulties were most often associated with personal distress, particularly in men. Both men and women, however, most commonly reported that they experienced all three types of distress. These results are discussed in relation to Western gender-specific sexual scripts. Clinical implications and the importance of couples therapy and suggestions for clinically useful diagnostic criteria are presented.

Acknowledgments

We would like to thank the collaborators of “Ook getest op mensen” from the Flemish public broadcasting company (VRT) who provided us the unique opportunity to administer this online survey. We are especially grateful to Berten Baert, Maarten Boone, Hendrik Dacquin, Niels Laukens, and Jeroen van Aert for their help in data acquisition.

Notes

¹ The SFS additionally assesses sexual aversion, lack of a forceful propulsive ejaculation, retrograde ejaculation, and sexual pain in men. The latter was not used because when men reported they could not penetrate their partner because of pain, it was unclear whether the pain was experienced by the men or by their female partners.

² Various VRT media channels include radio, television, and online information. Together, they reach almost 4.2 million Flemish people every week (81%) (Research department VRT, 2017).