Once again about the father: a father is born

ABSTRACT

This paper contains thoughts on the journey a man undertakes when he becomes the father to a newborn child, and on the difficulties he faces. Drawing on both psychoanalytic theory and clinical experience the author considers the journey to fatherhood men undertake, exploring the need for them to tolerate change and loneliness as they support and protect the new mother-infant dyad. While infantile anxieties of abandonment may be aroused, the importance of the father’s role in the newly established family is emphasised, particularly in relation to the child finding their own identity. Throughout the paper, parallels are drawn between the role of the father and the role of psychoanalyst or psychotherapist.

KEYWORDS:

• Father
• fatherhood
• loneliness
• primary environment
• separation anxiety
• Oedipus complex

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author(s).

Patient anonymisation statement

Potentially personally identifying information presented in this article that relates directly or indirectly to an individual, or individuals, has been changed to disguise and safeguard the confidentiality, privacy and data protection rights of those concerned, in accordance with the journal’s anonymisation policy.

Notes

1. Various general statements cited in the article, that I often hear in the course of my practice, are not attributable to any one definite person.

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Nataliya Zueva

Nataliya Zueva – Training Child and Adolescent Psychotherapist of the St. Petersburg Society of Child Psychoanalysis, Supervisor. Member of Child and Adolescent Section for RF of the EFPP (European Federation of Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy). Working in private practice with children, adolescents, and families.