Should I Tell You How I Feel? A Mixed Method Analysis of Couples’ Talk about Cancer

Abstract

Couples coping with cancer are often told to talk about feelings, yet there is limited theoretical, empirical, or intervention research to justify this advice. We interviewed 19 patients and 16 partners about their communication. In a mixed methods analysis, we found talk about feelings was associated with distress and functioning, even after controlling for marital satisfaction, perceived constraint from discussing cancer, or physical functioning; however, patients and partners who focused on feelings and personal issues had worse outcomes than those who focused on facts and medical issues. Through qualitative analysis, we found multiple ways to cope that did not require talking about feelings as well as ways that higher levels of distress affected talk about feelings. Our findings suggest we should reconsider advice to couples, encouraging multiple ways of communicating, and considering contextual factors that influence the timing and desirability of talk about feelings.

Keywords:

• Cancer
• Couple Communication
• Disclosure
• Social Support
• Distress

Acknowledgments

We are grateful to the Carle Foundation Hospital Cancer Center for their assistance with participant recruitment. Jennifer Bute, Kristin Lindholm, and Karen Sodowsky assisted with interviews and transcription. We thank John Caughlin, Erin Donovan-Kicken, and Laura Miller for their helpful comments. This research was supported by a University of Illinois Campus Research Board grant and a Lewis & Clark College Faculty–Student Collaboration grant.