Agreements About Extra-Dyadic Sex in Gay Men's Relationships: Exploring Differences in Relationship Quality by Agreement Type and Rule-Breaking Behavior

Abstract

Research comparing the quality of monogamous and non-monogamous (“open”) relationships among gay men has produced mixed findings. In addition, little is known about the consequences of breaking the rules of relationship agreements about extra-dyadic sex. Results from a survey of 229 gay men in romantic relationships showed that open relationships were less passionate, but no less intimate or committed, than monogamous or “threesome-only” relationships. However, men who broke rules reported lower relationship quality overall, regardless of the relationship agreement. Thus, it is less the nature of the agreement itself than adhering to the conditions of it that influences relationship quality.

Keywords:

• relationship agreement
• relationship quality
• open relationships
• rules

Acknowledgments

This research was supported by the Victoria University Research Development Grants Scheme 2009. We thank the men who participated in the survey, Stuart Todd for his invaluable research assistance, and Leah Kaufmann and four anonymous reviewers for helpful comments on an earlier version of this manuscript.