Trust, Commitment, Love and Sex: HIV, Monogamy, and Gay Men

Abstract

Research on gay men's relationships has neglected monogamy. Instead, it has tended to (a) emphasize HIV risk and relationship agreements between partners regarding sex and condom use with outside partners or (b) focus on nonmonogamous relationships as emblematic of relationship innovation. On the basis of qualitative interviews with 36 gay Australian men who favored a monogamous relationship as ideal, this article explores the meaning and practice of monogamy and its association with HIV risk. The authors present themes that include men's use of condoms in monogamous relationships, expectations of fidelity, and understandings of trust and security as the basis to meaningful and satisfying relationships.

Notes

Nonmonogamous relationships appear to be no less emotionally secure or satisfying than monogamous relationships, provided agreement rules are adhered to and partners perceive equal benefit (Blasband & Peplau, 1985; Bricker & Horne, 2007; Hoff et al., 2010; Hosking, 2012, 2013; LaSala, 2004; Ramirez & Brown, 2010).

For example, exploring men's conceptions of monogamy and cheating, and drawing on biological and cultural theories to explain sexual attraction and the intertwined history of modern masculinity and sexual fidelity, Anderson (2011) argued that monogamy is an ideological principle that leads men into a double bind in which cheating is a logical outcome.