Couples Exploring Nonmonogamy: Guidelines for Therapists

Abstract

A population that is potentially challenging for couple and family therapists to work with is that of couples who want to explore nonmonogamy. For many therapists, nonmonogamy challenges personal values and beliefs, and there is little in the literature to support therapists in achieving cultural competency in this area. Based on a review of Western clinical literature over the past 20 years and on the author's clinical experience, the author provides therapists with guidelines to use with couples who want to explore the possibility of becoming nonmonogamous. The guidelines include (a) educating oneself about nonmonogamy; (b) identifying one's own values and beliefs related to nonmonogamy; (c) working with the couple's definition of nonmonogamy; (d) being aware that partners may have varying concerns about nonmonogamy; (e) addressing infidelity if present; (f) avoiding assumptions about the ways nonmonogamy will impact the relationship; and (g) recognizing that opening a relationship is an ongoing process.