Being a Good Grandparent: Roles and Expectations in Intergenerational Relationships in Japan and Singapore

Abstract

In Asia, families are shrinking as a result of low fertility and a decline in three-generational households. On top of that, the emerging cohort of “new” grandparents who demand freedom and their own space will have an impact on the re-structuring, functions, and expectations in intergenerational relationships. Drawn from qualitative interviews with three generations conducted in Japan and Singapore, the authors explore the diverse roles of Asian grandparents in the family and show the co-existence of contradictory roles in this article. The experiences and expectations as articulated by the grandparents, combined with voices from the link parents and grandchildren illustrate the grandparents’ over-arching principle of non-interference. However, to what extent is this principle adopted by the grandparents? And how does it co-exist with other roles and expectations? An examination of these questions underscores the dynamics and complexity of intergenerational relationships in changing Asian family contexts.

KEYWORDS:

• Asian family
• grandparent
• intergenerational relationships
• Japan
• non-interference
• Singapore

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

The authors wish to acknowledge the funding provided by the National University of Singapore (R-107-000-040-112) which made the research project “Grandparenting in Selected Asian Societies” possible.

Notes

Note. *The middle generation in SM and SO are daughters-in-law. For case SM, the grandparent sometimes stays with the son's family, at the time of the interview, she was co-residing with the family.

Note. *refers to 3-generational family in the form of 2 households within a house (nisetaijutaku).

**S denotes “separated”.

The survey shows that 30% are cared for by domestic maids (local term for domestic workers who are female and usually foreign, from countries such as the Phillipines and Indonesia). This survey is conducted by Singapore Children's Society for children from 10–12 years old (N = 533) (Lianhe Zaobao, 2006).

In Singapore, the Foreign Maid Scheme was introduced since 1978 to facilitate women's continued employment. Today, it is common for the average double income of middle- and upper-income to have a live-in help with the family (Rahman, Yeoh, & Huang, 2005). In 2003, it is said that one in seven households employs a maid in Singapore, leading to about 140,000 domestic maids in Singapore households (Chang, 2003).