Not writing, and giving ‘zero-f**ks’ about it: queer(y)ing doctoral ‘failure’

ABSTRACT

This article proposes that a queer reading of failure might offer opportunities to re-think the affective-political practice of doctoral writing. It examines data from one case in Aotearoa New Zealand to illustrate how a doctoral student negotiates ‘failure’ in relation to their writing practice and identity. While higher education researchers have tended to interpret failure as something to avoid, or learn from in the pursuit of normative success, queer research offers us new pathways into analysis. In this article, I argue that we can recognize ‘writing failures’ as possible modes of being and becoming doctoral. Despite being frequently associated with affective practices of guilt, shame, and disappointment, failure might also open onto alternative feelings such as relief, joy, and satisfaction. Ultimately, the article contends that queer concepts might assist higher education researchers to interrogate normative framings of failure, and to glimpse alternative possibilities for understanding ‘success’.

KEYWORDS:

• Affect
• gender
• doctoral education
• doctoral writing
• failure
• queer theory

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author.

ORCID

James Burford http://orcid.org/0000-0002-0707-7401

Notes

1. This is taken from the book title of former NASA flight director Gene Kranz (2000).

2. This is taken from Henry Ford's quotation that failure is ‘simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently’.

3. In the course of our interview I asked Ricki if they had a preferred gender pronoun. They responded that they were ambivalent about the pronouns and pseudonym attributed to them in this study. I have elected to use non-binary pronouns (they, them, their) to refer to Ricki in this article. I hope by raising the profile of non-normative gender identity and pronouns in this way, to trouble research practices which take ‘commonsense’ approaches to the discernment and reporting of gender in educational research.