“We Told You that's How They Are”: Responses To White Women in Abusive Intimate Relationships with Men of Color

Abstract

The urging by interracial couples to be accepted as “normal” couples may present as challenging if problems arise in the relationship; especially if those “problems” are of an abusive or violent nature. Drawing on semi-structured, in-depth interviews we analyze the experiences of White women in abusive intimate relationships with men of color. We query the struggles of the women negotiating these relationships and explore the responses the women receive by family, friends, the general public, and workers in the criminal justice system and social and medical services. We argue that White women abused by men of color face additional challenges because of outsiders' disapproving views of the interracial nature of the relationships.

Notes

¹Throughout this article we use “Black” to describe U.S. citizens or U.S. residents (those without legal citizenship) of Black African descent. “African Americans” is another term that is frequently used to describe these individuals, but Black Americans remain divided as to which term is the most appropriate, particularly for Blacks whose ancestry is traced to U.S. slavery and who have little knowledge of and connection to the African continent and culture. Use of the term “Black” also can better encompass more recent immigrants of African descent who hail from Africa, the Caribbean, Europe, Canada, and so on, but who do not typically identify themselves as “African American.” Further, although there are instances where “Black” will not be capitalized, and for “White” as well, it is only done so where we make direct quotes of others who do not capitalize the terms. There is no set standard for whether or not the terms are to be capitalized when referring to race.

²“Mainstream” feminism or feminist theory refer to the endeavors of groups of predominantly White women who were working toward gender equality. The term “mainstream” is used due to the attention given to the efforts of these women (in academics and the news media), and the disregard of the efforts of feminist groups composed of marginalized women (e.g., Asian, Black, Latina, lesbian) (Thompson 2002).

³A gay White male responded to advertisement for the study, and explained that although he is not a woman, he was interested in sharing his story of abuse from a former Black male intimate partner. This respondent was interviewed by both authors (separately) on two occasions. Because his male and gay identity present experiences different than those of the women in the study, his experiences were not included in the current examination.

⁴See Potter (2006): “[T]he characteristic of ‘battered woman’ or ‘criminal offender’ should not be considered an element of the identities of women victims or offenders. Being abused or having committed criminal acts are situations which women encounter or in which women become implicated, not those that are endemic of their identity. Of course, this is not to diminish the seriousness of women being victimized or of criminality among women; instead, it is to emphasize that the individuals themselves rarely recognize these characteristics as central to their identity” (p. 110).

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Hillary Potter

HILLARY POTTER is an Assistant Professor of Sociology at the University of Colorado at Boulder. She holds a BA and PhD in sociology from the University of Colorado at Boulder and an MA in criminal justice from the John Hay College of Criminal Justice. Her research has focused on the intersections of race, gender, and class as they relate to crime and violence, and she is currently researching race variations in intimate partner homicides; intimate partner abuse among interracial couples; and community intervention in intimate partner abuse. She is the author of Battle Cries: Black Women and Intimate Partner Abuse (New York University Press, 2008) and the editor of Racing the Storm: Racial Implications and Lessons Learned from Hurricane Katrina (Lexington Books, 2007).

Devon Thacker Thomas

DEVON THACKER THOMAS is a doctoral student in the Department of Sociology at the University of Colorado at Boulder. Her research interests include intimate partner violence, feminist criminology, qualitative methodology, and law and society.