How do People Betray in Relationships? Understanding the Process of Infidelity in Dating Relationships

ABSTRACT

Most studies of infidelity have looked into motivational factors, however, the process of how infidelity happens is not much researched. The present study investigates the process of infidelity as well as how individuals resolve it. Forty individuals (21 males and 19 females) with self-reported infidelity (M_age = 27.15) participated in the study. The study followed a narrative methodology, where the narratives of the cheating incidents were collected and analyzed. For the analysis, the transcripts were coded and grouped using Quirkos software. The results showed two different processes involved in infidelity- spontaneous and planned cheating. While spontaneous cheating happens in the spur of the moment, planned cheating is a well-thought action. The infidelity process mostly includes relationship dissatisfaction, entry of alternatives, triggers, bonding, disclosure/non-disclosure, post-infidelity reflection, consequences, and resolution, however, not necessary in the same order and all. In cases where the individuals engaged in spontaneous infidelity, the infidelity process started with the alternative entry and the trigger played a very important role. However, for infidelity instances where the individual had some time to think, it started with some risk factors, which may either be relationship dissatisfaction or the personal characteristics of the perpetrator. Participants faced negative self-conscious emotions like guilt, regret, and self-justification for their actions. Some unexpected and positive consequences of infidelity were also seen such as emotional independence and improved relationships. The study would provide guidance and act as a base for further work on the infidelity process.

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author(s).