Forgiveness as the Working Through of Splitting

Abstract

This article presents a psychoanalytic formulation of forgiveness seen as the resolution of splitting underlying manifest and vehement retributive states of mind such as resentment, vengefulness, grudge, envy, bitterness, blame, and spite. Clinical examination suggests that these states of mind that are indicative of the presence of splitting are not always in ascendancy. They wax and wane in consciousness, depending on whether or not a shame-filled state of mind is present. Their appearance in consciousness is due to the instigatory role of shame before onlookers and the powerful role of hidden shame dynamics that do not always appear as overt shame. Examples illustrate a clinical impasse posed by the workings of intense splitting, the transformation of a shame experience into a dynamic of guilt in the firing of a very successful football coach after a disappointing defeat, and the working through of splitting in a patient pari passu with his increased bearability of shame. Working through of the splitting underlying the retributive emotions involves the increased bearability of shame, often with the help of an identification with the analyst. Vistas for future investigation include the role of the working through of resentment of the analyst in the analytic process and the relation of that resentment to instigating shame dynamics.