Will You Be My Mommy? A Quest of a Child to Fill in the Gaps in the Process of Bonding With Her Adoptive Parents

Abstract

Adoption is a complex situation. The main threats to an adoptee are the fear of rejection and abandonment. Many of the problems of adoptees growing up are shared with other children as being part of growing up. Some of the current generalizations and dogmatic thinking about adoption are brought up as it disputes and contradicts my own findings, namely, for example, Verrier's conviction that adoption by necessity causes permanent damage in the lives of adoptees. When severe obstacles occur in the family interaction, psychotherapy might be required. The dramatic case of Marcie serves as an example of children's capacity to effectively work through what Verrier calls “their unhealable wounds.” An important factor for success is the adoptive parents' participation in the psychotherapeutic process, which has the potential of facilitating bonding and attachment to develop. A vital sense of safety and belonging to the adoptive family with a true sense of self can be accomplished.