“We're Not Going to Have This Conversation, But You Get It”: Black Mother–Daughter Communication About Sexual Relations

Abstract

Twenty self-identified Black women ages 19 to 22 recalled the content and emotional tone of conversations about sex they had with their mothers. A majority of participants did not recall a sustained conversation about sex. Rather, they recollected fragmented, random, and often context-free comments their mothers made about sex. Three themes emerged from analysis of interviews: (a) negative messages, (b) feelings of discomfort, and (c) mother as role model. In addition, a minority of participants who experienced open and honest mother–daughter sex talk reported it had benefited them, whereas daughters who did not experience rich mother–daughter sex talk wished they had and believed it would have made them stronger women and enhanced closeness with their mothers. Standpoint theory offers insight into why many Black mothers might find sex talk uncomfortable and might warn daughters of negative aspects of sex while not mentioning positive aspects. These findings suggest that more sustained and open communication about sex could strengthen relationships between Black mothers and daughters and decrease Black women's negative health consequences.

Keywords:

• Black communication
• mother–daughter communication
• racism
• sex-talk
• sexual health
• STDs

Acknowledgments

The authors thank Pat Parker, Mike Waltman, and the reviewers of Women's Studies in Communication for contributions to this study.