The Good Mother, the Good Father, and the Good Parent: Gendered Definitions of Parenting

Abstract

Focus groups were conducted with parents of young children to explore definitions of good parenting. For mothers, good mothering is distinct from good parenting, and includes attention to detail resulting in gatekeeping efforts to control fathers' participation. For fathers, good fathering and good parenting are the same. Though providing relatively little child care, fathers feel they have access to children when they want to be involved. They do not perceive paid work or maternal gatekeeping as obstacles to good parenting, but view their role as equally influential despite disparities in the types and amount of care provided.

Keywords:

• child care
• fathering
• fathers
• gender
• intensive mothering
• maternal gatekeeping
• mothering
• parenting

Acknowledgments

The author wishes to thank the mothers and fathers who were interviewed, as well as the child care center staff for helping to coordinate this study.