A Multi-level Guide to Work with Male Clients in Couple and Family Therapy from a Gender-critical Perspective

ABSTRACT

For relational therapists who are acutely aware of male privilege, working with male clients may be challenging, including in (but not limited to) couple and family therapy. This challenge may be particularly true for beginning therapists. This paper outlines a guide to working in relational therapy with male clients from a gender-critical and socio-culturally attuned perspective. To this aim, the paper first summarizes a framework for gender-critical therapists to work with male clients. It then outlines recommendations based on the clients’ level of endorsement or relationship to gender-normative masculinity (i.e., stereotypical, challenged, and disempowered relationship to masculinity). In the final sections, clinical vignettes show the application of some of these recommendations. This guide will benefit relational therapists who are questioning their ability to work with male clients in an inclusive fashion while remaining truthful to their gender-critical views.

KEYWORDS:

• Relational therapy
• couple and family therapy
• gender-critical perspectives
• socio-cultural attunement

Acknowledgments

No funding is associated with this study. The first draft of this paper was written in the context of the “Contemporary Issues in Couple and Family Therapy” course, Couple and Family Therapy program, School of Social Work, McGill University. Thanks to Dr. Françoise Susset and Dr. Marjorie Rabieau for their inspiring feedback on previous versions. Thanks to the three anonymous reviewers for their input on the final draft.

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author(s).

Notes

1. Although separatist feminist theories have argued for a complete separation from men (Frye, 1993), this approach is less common in psychotherapy in general and in couple and family therapy specifically. However, not working with male clients is undoubtedly an option, and the reader who has decided to do so may find this paper of little utility.

2. Sometimes, the difference between hegemonic and toxic masculinity is made to “save” the positive aspects of masculinity, a view that is not endorsed here. Rather, hegemonic and toxic masculinities are seen as similarly problematic aspects of gender-normative masculinity.

3. It is important to emphasize that the expression of gender-normative views may vary based on cultural and/or socio-economic status. For example, higher-income and educated families typically endorse risky behaviors more than violence as ways to express and/or prove masculinity. These differences may be informative, but it is important to keep in mind that they do necessarily correspond to different levels of endorsement of gender-normative views.

4. Although the vignettes are primarily based on actual clinical cases, elements from readings and peer discussions have been integrated to preserve confidentiality and ensure an optimal fit.