What is a good post-separation relationship? The perspectives of Australian parents

ABSTRACT

Socio-legal research has established the importance of a ‘good’ post-separation parental relationship; however there is little work addressing the definitions and experiences of parents themselves. Thus, we have few insights into how socio-legal expectations align with those of separated parents. This paper draws on interview data from 27 separated Australian parents to explore the question: how do parents define a good post-separation parental relationship? Our analysis indicated a typology of three relationships: allied, arm’s length and autonomous relationships. These were differentiated by parents’ emotional connection, practical interdependence and deliberate co-operation in caring for their children. They shared in common parents’ focus on the wellbeing of children, which both motivated parents’ on-going connection and informed their definition of a good post-separation relationship with their former partner. Our findings indicate an alignment between socio-legal expectations of good relationships and those of parents, albeit in sometimes unexpected forms.

KEYWORDS:

• Co-parenting
• divorce
• post-divorce parenting
• post-separation parenting
• separation
• shared parenting

Acknowledgments

We wish to thank the participants in this study for generously sharing their experiences with us.

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the authors.

Notes

1. It is beyond the scope of this paper to provide a detailed discussion of the legal complexities of the relationship between the presumption of equal parental responsibility, equal or significant time and the best interests of the child (see Fehlberg et al. 2011). However we do note that the legislative wording and related misunderstandings by parents and family law professionals lead to concerns that women were not being adequately protected in contexts of domestic and family violence. This resulted in further changes to the Family Law Act 1975, although the effects on parenting arrangements seem moderate at best (Kaspiew et al. 2015).

2. Commonly in Australia, and in this study, shared care is defined as each parent caring for their child/ren for at least 35% of time. In other jurisdictions this may be referred to as ‘joint physical custody’ or ‘shared residence’.

Additional information

Funding

This research was funded through a Flinders University Faculty of Social and Behavioural Sciences Research Grant.