Denied love: Same-sex desire, agency and social oppression among African men who engage in same-sex relations

abstract

Globally, love is socially constructed as a heterosexual experience (that assumes a heteronormative gender regime). Those who engage in same-sex relations are often denied the right to experience being loved by, and loving, their same-sex partners. In many parts of Africa, this denial is even etched in the national laws, with countries such as Uganda and Nigeria currently seeking to replace the already stringent colonial penal codes with even harsher post-colonial laws geared to erase same-sex desire, and same-sex desiring individuals. In South Africa, while the laws may be affirming of love between people of the same sex, the lived experiences of many same-sex loving individuals are generally negative. These experiences are deliberately and systematically maintained through heteronormativity to deny same-sex love by constructing it as an aberration, an attempt to force those who engage in these relations to internalise and accept this construction. Using the concepts of internalised homophobia and agency, I explore constructions of love by eight African male teachers who engage in same-sex relations. I draw from a life history study which sought to investigate how South African male teachers from rural and township contexts, who engage in same-sex relations, construct their sexual and professional identities. From the data, I show the internal conflicts, as a result of culture and religion, that these men have. I argue that the men both accommodate social norms while simultaneously challenging them. I therefore present same-sex love as complicated, involving the conforming to, and challenging of, social norms.

Keywords:

• Same-sex relationships
• love
• heteronormativity
• agency
• internalised homophobia

Notes

1. I use this term very guardedly as I am aware of the limitations it presents, not least the possible reification of the very ideas we seek to challenge.

2. This Article does not in any way view marriage as the only major way of demonstrating love; indeed one does not need to get married in order to signal one's love for another person. Marriage is only explored on the basis of literature and the responses of participants.