Graves, gifts, and the bereaved consumer: a restorative perspective of gift exchange

ABSTRACT

When a gifting relationship is disrupted by death, why might a living consumer continue to invest in it? Consumer spending on deceased loved ones does not end with the funeral. Given the embodying power of a physical gravesite, this article examines the practice of gift giving to the deceased in the context of American cemeteries. We employ a longitudinal approach, in which 180 cemetery gravesites were photographed. The photographic data are coupled with a netnography of grief and bereavement communities. Findings support a restorative perspective of gift exchange. Bereaved consumers utilize restorative giving as a mechanism to cope with loss and maintain relationships with deceased loved ones. We outline five categories of gifts given to the deceased and present a framework of restorative giving practices. Implications are discussed in terms of identity development, symbolic communication, and reciprocity in gift giving, as deceased consumers continue to be recipients of tangible goods.

KEYWORDS:

• Gift giving
• identity
• bereavement
• material culture
• death
• rituals

Acknowledgements

We wish to acknowledge the first author’s sister, Kristen Drenten (1982–1997), for inspiring this research project, and we dedicate this work to all who have grieved the loss of a loved one. We are grateful to the anonymous reviewers, the editors of this special issue on Consumption and Death, the editorial team of Consumption Markets & Culture, and colleagues, who provided encouragement and suggestions for improving earlier iterations of this manuscript.

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the authors.