Adolescent Adjustment to Parental Marital Transitions: Experiences in Urban, Rural and Suburban Communities

ABSTRACT

This study aimed to (1) identify the perceived helpfulness of relationships and resources adolescents relied on in their transition to their parents’ divorce or separation and (2) to ascertain any differences in experiences with these resources and relationships based on rurality. A retrospective design was implemented with 47 young adults who experienced parental divorce or separation between the ages of 10 and 18. Three themes were constructed through coding reliability thematic analysis. Participants indicated that helpful resources and relationships provided support in: (a) managing emotions following parental marital transitions, (b) reframing the experience of a parental marital transition, and (c) assistance with boundaries following a parental marital transition. Nearly half of the rural participants did not rely on formal resources (e.g., therapist/counselor), but across rurality levels the perceptions of what made these relationships and resources helpful in adapting to a parental marital transition were similar.

KEYWORDS:

• Rurality
• divorce
• separation
• coping
• adolescence

Introduction

Despite divorce rates in the United States decreasing over the last several decades (Wang et al., 2023), “the decreased divorce rate is not necessarily found in families that have children” (Wolchik et al., 2023, p. 222) and many children and adolescents continue to be “confronted with the divorce or separation of their parents” every year (Van Dijk et al., 2020, p. 1). Adolescence is a developmental time period marked by physical, cognitive, and psychosocial changes (Meeus, 2019), and a parental marital transition can be a disruptive developmental experience (Sumari et al., 2019). It is critical to understand protective factors that can help adolescents resiliently navigate this life transition.

Divorce is not a single event, rather it is a “series of events and changes in life circumstances” and youth can experience a range of emotions when parents divorce (Wolchik et al., 2023, p. 236). The parental marital transition can impair aspects of parent-adolescent relationships (Demir-Dagdas, 2021) and sibling relationships (Sheehan et al., 2004). Children and adolescents experiencing parental divorce may exhibit internalizing, externalizing, and risky behaviors (Gustavsen et al., 2015; Stallman & Ohan, 2016; Tullius et al., 2022). Some emotional and behavioral problems begin after parental divorce and can be long-lasting (Tullius et al., 2022). Some impacts may even last into adulthood (Graham et al., 2012; Wolchik et al., 2023).

As parental divorce and separation can be a turbulent experience for adolescents, some research has examined what protective factors (e.g., supportive relationships, active coping skills, counselors/therapists, educational intervention) might support adolescents’ adjustment (Amato, 2000; Ehrenberg et al., 2006; Halpenny et al., 2008; Wolchik et al., 2023). There is a need to understand experiences and perceptions of these supports from youth perspectives (Halpenny et al., 2008; Sorek, 2020). Further, research suggests that location may be important in determining what resources are accessible or how they are perceived, suggesting potential variations across levels of rurality (residing in an urban, suburban, or rural community) (Routh et al., 2021). More research is needed to understand if supportive resources or relationships are accessible and acceptable to adolescents experiencing a family transition across all levels of rurality. The current qualitative study explored the experiences and perceptions of young adults who reported parental separation or divorce between the ages of 10 and 18. Specifically, this study aimed to discover similarities and differences in resources and relational supports for these youth across the rural-urban continuum.

Theoretical framework

Amato’s (2000) Divorce Stress Adjustment Perspective served as the theoretical framework for the present study. This perspective views marital separation as a process that begins while the couple is still living together, continues after the separation/divorce is finalized, and impacts the parents and children (Amato, 2000). From this perspective, adjustment to divorce is determined by the stressors and protective factors experienced by individuals in the family. The uncoupling process sets in motion a series of stressful events. Amato (2000) refers to these as mediators (stressors) and they can include things like the economic decline for the family or loss of parental contact and support for a child. However, moderators (protective factors) exist, and these can be individual (e.g., coping skills), interpersonal (e.g., relationships), or structural/setting based (e.g., policy). Amato (2000) explained:

Moderators introduce variability into the manner in which divorce and mediating factors are linked to personal outcomes. Protective factors act like shock absorbers and weaken the links between divorce-related events and people’s experience of stress … (p. 1272)

For this paper, the terms stressors and protective factors are used when discussing the Divorce Stress Adjustment Perspective in order to prevent confusion with the quantitative terms mediators and moderators. The present study explores the protective factors among young adults who experienced parental divorce/separation while in their adolescent years. Specifically, the study explores what protective factors (individual, relational) were perceived as most helpful and examines them in the setting (level of rurality) of their communities.

Protective factors following parent marital transition

Amato (2000) reported that coping skills, support from family and friends, and access to therapeutic interventions were all protective factors for children following parental divorce. In terms of supportive people in divorce adjustment, Canadian adolescents reported the most helpful people following parental divorce were an adult helping professional (e.g., counselor or therapist), a friend, and an extended family member – with immediate family identified as the best source of support (Ehrenberg et al., 2006). Although parents are responsible for initiating disruption in the adolescent’s life through their marital transition, “parental assistance is essential, and the parent’s continued accessibility and support is important for the adolescent’s social and emotional adjustment” (Finkelstein & Grebelsky-Lichtman, 2022, p. 140).

Adolescents do interact and develop in environments outside of their home and nonparental relationships can support their development. In a study regarding the role of youth-adult relationships, adolescents rated nonparental adults that they could count on, who inspired them to be their best and influenced the choices they made (Yu & Deutsch, 2020). Most adolescents reported on teachers and coaches (40.5%), extended family members (26.7%), people from their employment setting (6.9%), community members (e.g., church, community programming; 3.9%), or people from other settings (e.g., family friends; 21.7%). Participants relied on these nonparental adults to provide “critical social support during … personal hardships such as parent divorces and other times of family conflict (e.g., between youth and parents) and personal distress such as feeling depressed” (Yu & Deutsch, 2020, pp. 124–125). While it is clear adolescents may rely on professionals, family members, friends, and other adults in their adjustment to parental marital transitions, less is known about what actions taken or qualities embodied in these people make them helpful resources.

In providing support for adolescents experiencing parental separation, it appears opportunities for distraction, communication, and coping could be potential areas of focus among people who are providing support. For instance, among youth (ages 8–17) in Ireland, younger participants preferred activities that offered opportunities for distraction over discussion-based support while adjusting to their parents’ separation, where older youth emphasized the benefits of communicating feelings with peers and professionals (Halpenny et al., 2008). Further, youth’s ability to adaptively cope following parental divorce is a protective factor for mental health and against risky behaviors (O’Hara et al., 2019). It is possible that coping is a modifiable factor that could benefit adolescents who experience parental divorce or separation. A randomized controlled trial, with an intervention aimed at promoting coping among youth who experienced divorce, showed a reduction in emotional problems and an increase in coping efficacy for youth who participated in the intervention (Boring et al., 2015).

To benefit from resources in their adjustment process, adolescents must be willing to seek or accept support. Research supports that adolescents engaging in help-seeking from informal sources and social supports tend to show reduced psychological risk (Heerde & Hemphill, 2018). Adolescent help-seeking has been associated with household income, divorce rates, residential stability, with the suggestion that rurality may be the strongest predictor (Thompson et al., 2018). Adolescents reported they were more likely to seek support when they experienced peer support, received general messages of support, or if they recognized the personal need for help (Ehrenberg et al., 2006).

Rurality and protective factors following a parent marital transition

Most studies on romantic partner stability or transitions have not focused on the potential influence of rurality (Sano et al., 2012). Similarly, less is known about the role of rurality in adolescents’ use of resources and relationships in their adjustment to a parental marital transition. Rural communities are typically remote, small in population, family centered, and perceived to be focused on neighborly relationships. For instance, among adults in rural communities, half report that “their relationships with neighbors are extremely or very important to them” and 67% report that they have “ever received help from a neighbor or people in their local community, including help handling and emergency situation” (National Public Radio, Robert Wood Johnston Foundation, Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, 2018, p. 17). Just under one-third of adults reported that the most important reason they live in their community is because their family lives there.

Rural communities provide potential strengths and challenges. In a national sample of children and adolescents in the United States, children and adolescents in rural communities were found to have higher rates of parental separation and divorce when compared to their urban counterparts (Crouch et al., 2020). Counter to this risk, Crouch et al. (2023) reported that rural children and adolescents were more likely than urban youth to have a guiding mentor and to be living in a safe and supportive neighborhood. Rural communities often note limited accessibility or availability of mental health services, potentially contributing to high suicide rates among youth in these communities (Aguirre Velasco et al., 2020; Fontanella et al., 2015). Often, seeking in person services requires rural residents to travel long distances and this can delay entering care. Even when help is available, rural adolescents still may not seek help. Rural adolescents in the southern U.S. reported that they were only somewhat willing to seek help for dating violence, and if they intended to seek help, they were more likely to seek informal versus professional help (Hedge et al., 2017). Thompson et al. (2018) found lower adolescent help-seeking behaviors through Crisis Text Line (CTL) in rural communities may be related to a rural-cultural stigma against help seeking or a lack of advertising the CTL in rural areas.

The accessibility as well as acceptability of resources may vary across urban, suburban, and rural communities. Based on identified rural values (National Public Radio, Robert Wood Johnston Foundation, Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, 2018), it may be theorized that individuals from rural communities might cope with stress through seeking assistance from family or friends; however, if the issue is considered unique, there might not be help for the individual within their area. Although, differences in resource availability or help-seeking based on rurality have been suggested in the past, these differences may have decreased as technology advancements have added access and exposure to people and places for many Americans across the rural and urban divide (Lichter & Ziliak, 2017). Although, Mseke et al. (2023) concluded:

While telehealth can help address the barrier of distance, rural youth may prefer seeing someone in person about their mental health concerns. This is not to say that telehealth does not have critical role to play in service provision; rather, rural youth highlight the importance of telehealth as an adjunct, but not replacement for, face-to-face consultation, especially in circumstances where large travel distances are involved. (p. 358)

More specific research is needed regarding the availability and helpfulness of protective factors for parental marital transition adjustment among adolescents in rural, suburban, and urban communities. This research could be particularly helpful to family outreach professionals as they aim to maximize support for adolescents in these family transitions.

Purpose of the current study

A parental marriage transition requires adaptation within the adolescents’ environmental context to mitigate potential adverse outcomes. To fill the gap in existing program and outcome literature, the current exploratory qualitative study was designed to explore young adults’ past experiences with specific protective factors (i.e., relationships and resources) in adjusting to parental divorce/separation during adolescence across levels of rurality. More deeply understanding the lived experiences may help guide future research as well as provide opportunities to identify and enhance protective factors for adolescents navigating parent marital transitions in rural, suburban, and urban communities. The study was guided by the following research questions:

Research Question 1.

What resources and relationships do young adults report having used when they were adjusting to their parents’ marital transition during adolescence while living in urban, suburban, and rural contexts?

Research Question 2.

How do young adults describe the helpfulness of resources and relationships that were utilized while adjusting to their parents’ marital transition during adolescence while living in urban, suburban, and rural contexts?

Methods

Sample

The study sample consisted of 47 college students (n = 35 females, n = 12 males; m _age = 19.35). A majority of participants identified as White (76.4%), with the remaining identifying as American Indian (8.5%), Latinx (6.4%), Biracial (4.3%), African American (2.1%), and Pacific Islander (2.1%). In total, 46 of the participants reported a single marital status. Participants reported spending a majority of their adolescence in an urban area (27.7%), suburban (19.1%), and rural area (53.2%). Consistent with Buchanan et al. (1991) work on adolescent divorce adjustment, adolescence was conceptualized as being between ages 10 and 18. The participants indicated that their parents divorced (n = 33; 70.2%) or separated (n = 14; 29.8%) when they were between ages 10 and 18.

Procedures

The current study was part of a larger study on young adult well-being and was approved by the university Institutional Review Board. University instructors of five undergraduate general education courses agreed to allow their students (N = 382) to participate in the study for course credit (meeting course objectives) or extra credit. This convenience sample also provided students with a range of rurality experiences ensuring experiences may be transferable to adolescent audiences. A researcher visited participating courses to introduce the study, and the links to the survey were posted on each courses’ online management system. To protect participant confidentiality, at the end of the survey, participants were redirected to separate online survey where they reported their name and course to document their participation. In total, 222 participants responded (55% response rate). In this study, the focus was on traditionally aged (18–25 years old) college students who had experienced parental separation or divorce when they were between the ages of 10 and 18. In total, 175 participants were excluded from this study—13 participants were outside the age range for the study, one did not provide enough information to be included, and 161 did not experience parental separation or divorce between the ages of 10 and 18.

The survey was designed using existing research (Ehrenberg et al., 2006) and was created/distributed through Qualtrics (see Qualtrics.com). Participants were asked to report the zip code where they spent most of their time as an adolescent. Rural-Urban Commuting Area (RUCA) codes were used to translate zip codes into levels of rurality (U.S. Department of Agriculture, 2020). RUCA codes consist of 10 codes, and in line with Weeks et al. (2004), these were further categorized into urban (RUCA code 1), suburban (RUCA codes 2–6), and rural (RUCA codes 7–10). Rural categorization in this approach includes small towns and remote rural areas while excluding micropolitan and metropolitan areas (U.S. Department of Agriculture, 2020).

Participants were asked branching questions in the survey: Did your parents separate or divorce when you were between the ages of 10 and 18? If participants indicated their parents separated or divorced, they were directed to questions specifically addressing divorce or their experiences of parental separation. The questions included multiple response items like, Following your parents’ divorce/separation, which people/relationships were used in your adjustment between the ages of 10 and 18? (mother, father, uncle, brother, sister, other [text response] etc.) and Following your parents’ divorce/separation, which external resources were used in your adjustment between the ages of 10 and 18? (private therapist, school, sports coach, other [text response], etc.). Both questions were followed up with open-ended items asking which resource and relationship were most helpful and why or why external resources or relationships were not utilized. Participants were also asked open-ended items about how they felt their parents’ divorce/separation impacted them, what they personally did that positively impacted their adjustment, and if a community education program was developed for adolescents (10–18 years old) who were experiencing their parents’ divorce/separation, what topics/content do you think it should cover?

Positionality

Prior to data analysis, the researchers met to discuss their positionalities. All three researchers identified as cisgender (n = 2 female, n = 1 male) and White. All three had lived in rural communities. None of the researchers had personally experienced parental divorce. Two of the researchers were Cooperative Extension professionals who have provided educational services for adolescents in rural contexts. One researcher had experience providing clinical mental health services in rural communities for adolescents. While no preconceived coding categories were used in the qualitative data analysis, the researchers acknowledged that the research questions and theory selection assume (in part) that resources and relationships could be supportive to adolescents during a parental marital transition.

The researchers predominantly embraced a realist epistemological approach, positing a unidirectional relationship between language (what people say) and the construction of meaning and experience (Braun & Clarke, 2006; Madill et al., 2000). Within this framework, mitigating research bias and preconceptions is important. In this study, the technique of bracketing was employed to enable researchers to address and minimize the potential adverse impacts of unacknowledged preconceptions associated with the research (Tufford & Newman, 2012). In this study, bracketing comprised researchers (a) individually reflecting on potential biases or preconceptions before data analysis, (b) engaging in team discussions to disclose and address these potential biases, (c) using memos to document personal preconceptions while analyzing the data, and (d) maintaining an ongoing dialogue among researchers throughout the analysis.

Data analysis

Consistent with a realist epistemological perspective, Coding Reliability Thematic Analysis (CRTA) was selected to analyze the data (Braun et al., 2018). CRTA aims to reliably identify and accurately report key patterns in data. The approach was appropriate because the research questions aimed to 1) understand the common experiences with resources and relationships in adolescents’ adjustment to parental marital transitions and 2) consider variations by levels of rurality. To compare experiences across rurality, the data was organized by participants who lived in urban, suburban, and rural communities at the time of divorce. Further, two researchers participated in the analysis (i.e., investigator triangulation; Stahl & King, 2020) to increase trustworthiness and align with expectations within CRTA (Braun et al., 2018).

Data familiarization marked the initial analysis stage (Braun et al., 2018), where each researcher independently read and re-read the data, noting key words reflective of participant experiences that also aligned with research aims. Researchers then met together and collaboratively discussed observations. Through consensus coding, three themes were constructed, with researchers collaboratively defining themes and coding rules. A comprehensive codebook, inclusive of theme labels, definitions, and examples, was developed. The two researchers independently coded the data, and came to consensus on coding disagreements through discussion and consulting the original data. Researchers were able to provide credible review of participant data having experience in family systems research and family outreach across diverse rural communities.

In the coding process, participant responses could contribute to more than one theme, but participants were only counted one time per theme. The descriptive statistics (frequencies of external resources relationships utilized between ages 10 and 18 during parents’ marital transitions) and themes were then reviewed, and it was decided to present the descriptive information about the resources and relationships utilized by participants and then their experience with the resources and relationships.

Findings

Participants were asked to report all resources and relationships that they utilized to cope with parental divorce or separation during adolescence (see Table 1). Although participants were attending college during the time of this study, the specifiers of rural, suburban, and urban in the results focus on the rurality of where participants spent majority of their time during adolescence. Over half of all the participants indicated that they received some type of formal support, such as meeting with a private therapist/counselor (38.30%) or religious leader (19%). However, nearly half of the rural participants (48%) stated that they did not utilize any formal organizational support. The family relationships that participants reported as providing support during their parents’ marital transition included: mothers (47%), brothers (45%), cousins (34%), and grandparents (32%). Compared to urban and suburban participants, higher percentages of rural adolescents relied on relationships with mothers and cousins to cope with their parents’ separation/divorce (see Table 1).

Table 1. Participant (n = 47) reports of resources and relationships used to cope with parental separation or divorce during adolescence.

Identified Resource	Urban (n = 13)	%	Suburban (n = 9)	%	Rural (n = 25)	%	Total (n = 47)	%
Formal Organizational Support
No Organizational Support Utilized	5	38.46	2	22.22	12	48.00	19	40.43
Private Therapist/Counselor	4	30.77	5	55.56	9	36.00	18	38.30
Religious Leader Support	4	30.77	2	22.22	3	12.00	9	19.15
Youth Leader (e.g. 4-H or Future Farmers of America [FFA])	1	7.69	0	0.00	3	12.00	4	8.51
School Teacher	2	15.38	2	22.22	3	12.00	7	14.89
School Counselor	1	7.69	1	11.11	3	12.00	5	10.64
Coach	0	0.00	1	11.11	0	0.00	1	2.13
Support Group	0	0.00	1	11.11	1	4.00	2	4.26
Family Relational Support
No relationships were helpful in coping with parental divorce/separation	0	0.00	1	11.11	2	8.00	3	6.38
Mother	5	38.46	3	33.33	14	56.00	22	46.81
Father	3	23.08	2	22.22	4	16.00	9	19.15
Sister	4	30.77	1	11.11	8	32.00	13	27.66
Brother	9	69.23	4	44.44	8	32.00	21	44.69
Grandparents	6	46.15	1	11.11	8	32.00	15	31.91
Cousins	2	15.38	1	11.11	13	52.00	16	34.04
Uncle	1	7.69	0	0.00	1	4.00	2	4.25
Aunt	3	23.08	1	11.11	6	24.00	10	21.28
Stepparent	1	7.69	0	00.00	1	4.00	2	4.26
Stepsibling	0	0.00	0	00.00	2	8.00	2	4.26
Non-Familial Relational Support
Friends	7	53.85	5	55.56	8	32.00	20	42.55
Friends’ parents	0	0.00	1	11.11	1	4.00	2	4.26
Romantic Partner	1	7.69	0	0.00	0	0.00	1	2.13

Each participant had the opportunity to report multiple resources and relationships that were used to cope with parental separation or divorce during adolescence.

In a follow-up question, participants were asked which of the reported resources or relationships they thought were the most helpful in coping with parental divorce or separation. The most frequently mentioned were siblings (56%; 38% urban, 0% suburban, and 36% rural), mothers (44%; 15% urban, 33% suburban, and 24% rural), and private therapists/counselors (44%; 23% urban, 33% suburban, and 20% rural). Also, some participants indicated that they utilized resources, but did not find them helpful in coping with their parents’ marital transition (28%; 8% urban, 44% suburban, and 8% rural).

A CRTA was completed to understand participants’ experiences regarding the helpfulness of the resources and relationships they utilized in adjusting to their parents’ divorce or separation during adolescence (see Table 2). Three themes were identified: (a) managing emotions following parental marital transitions, (b) reframing the experience of a parental marital transition, and (c) assistance with boundaries following a parental marital transition. The themes are presented in order of prevalence, and participants’ ages, gender, and rurality level were provided for context when quotes were shared.

Table 2. Young adults (n = 47) perceptions of resource/relationship helpfulness following a parental marital transition during adolescence: results from a coding reliability qualitative analysis.

	Total (n = 47)		Urban (n = 13)		Suburban (n = 9)		Rural (n = 25)
Theme Description	n	%	n	%	n	%	n	%	Example Quotes
Theme 1: Managing Emotions Following Parental Marital Transitions
Participants explained that there are a variety of emotional responses to parental divorce or separation during adolescence. It was recommended that resources and relationships could be used to help an adolescent process their emotions, develop coping strategies, recognize barriers to self-care, and identify role models.	47	100.00	13	100.00	9	100.00	25	100.00	“I talked with my siblings and my peers to help my coping with the separation.” (female, 18, urban) “[Relationships and resources should help with] how to deal with the emotions that divorce brings upon you.” (male, 18, suburban) “[Relationships and resources should help with] how to cope with stress (if it stresses you) in a healthy way and how to take care of yourself.” (female, 21, rural)
Theme 2: Reframing the Experience of a Parental Marital Transition
Participants shared that divorce and separation can lead to new and improved relationships. Resources and relationships intending to help adolescents through the transition should be aware that the outcomes of the divorce/separation may not be all negative.	40	85.10	12	92.31	8	88.88	20	80.00	“I made a good connection with my stepdad and I cannot imagine how my life would be without the divorce.” (female, 19, urban) “Parents might be better people (parents) to them and around others [after divorcing].” (male, 18, suburban) “[Relationships and resources can share that] it’s okay if everything is different after a divorce.” (female, 19, rural)
Theme 3: Assistance with Boundaries Following a Parental Marital Transition
Participants related that parental divorce and separation can lead to adolescents being placed in the middle of situation (switching houses, custody battles, etc.) and could create a sense that the marital transition was the adolescent’s fault. Resources and relationships should help adolescents identify and implement healthy boundaries.	38	80.85	13	100.00	6	66.66	18	72.00	“[Relationships and resources should help with] How to deal with parents confiding in their children, parent trash talking other parent.” (female, 18, suburban) “[Relationships and resources should communicate] that it isn’t the child’s fault that mom and dad don’t get along and put it in the context relating to the child’s age” (male, 19, rural) “[relationships and resources should help with] How to manage switching houses/going back and forth between parents” (female, 18, rural)

Total percentages exceed 100% because participant responses could contribute to more than one theme.

Managing emotions following parental marital transitions

Participants (100%), across levels of rurality (see Table 2), reported that parental divorce and separation generated a lot of different emotions for adolescents. This can be challenging “because a lot of people do not know how to express their feelings until they are to a point of explosion causing harm to themselves or others” (19, female, urban). Participants indicated that relationships and resources for adolescents experiencing a parental marital transition should prioritize assisting adolescents with processing these emotions and developing self-care strategies. A participant (19, female, rural), explained that helpful resources and relationships assist in “how to deal with the pain in a positive manner” and illuminate “how the feelings and thoughts you’re going through don’t make you weak and that its okay to seek help if you need it.” The theme is presented with two subthemes: (a) qualities of emotionally supportive people and (b) promotion of self-care.

Qualities of emotionally supportive people

Recognizing and accepting emotions was seen to be important to adjusting to parental marital transitions, and participants indicated that having a supportive person like a family member (i.e., mother, father, sibling, cousin, grandparent, aunt, uncle, stepfamily member), friend, or professional could help in processing these emotions. The type of relationship varied, but they shared the qualities of being non-judgmental, patient, and encouraging. A participant (19, female, rural) shared. “My aunt was the most helpful because she was the only one who I felt I could be open with and she never judged me.” Another participant disclosed (18, female, suburban):

My counselor is someone I still meet with. We clicked right away, even though at first, I didn’t want to. I usually don’t like when I appear transparent to people, as I like to remain independent and not dependent on anyone. However, it was such a relief to be honest with someone who was there specifically to help me.

In terms of friends being helpful, a participant (female, 18, suburban) explained, “My best friend was the only one who didn’t seem to be judging or taking pity on me. … [She made me feel like] we were still friends, and nothing was going to change between us.” Participants also indicated that it could be helpful to connect with someone who has or is going through something similar:

My relationship with my sister was most helpful [when my parents separated] because her and I were able to talk over what we were feeling and what we were experiencing. We bonded and were able to help each other cope and process. (18, female, urban)

In summary, people who were perceived to be emotionally supportive following a parental marital transition were non-judgmental, encouraging, and may have their own experience with parental marital transitions.

Promotion of self-care

Participants highlighted that during parental divorce or separation, supportive relationships and resources play a crucial role in fostering “self-care” and effective “coping” strategies. Coping and self-care included creating experiences that would allow them to escape from their experience for a time, spending time doing “normal things” with friends, cousins, siblings, or by themselves, and being around adult mentors that helped them look beyond the situation. A participant (19, male, rural), indicated that his youth leaders were helpful, “because they encouraged me and helped me keep a positive attitude, and allowed me to focus on other things besides my parents’ divorce.” Two participants explained how they used self-care while adjusting to their parents’ divorces: “I was able to separate myself from the situation through hiking in the woods with my dog” (19, male, rural), and:

I stayed involved in many clubs and sports at school. I was a cheerleader and played tennis. I also did a lot of volunteering. The best thing was just distracting myself from the situation and getting out of the house. (18, female, urban)

Participants conveyed that recognizing and eliminating obstacles to self-care, as well as engaging in the process of learning and practicing self-care, could empower adolescents to “find that needed comfort” (19, male, rural) during their parents’ marital transition.

Reframing the experience of a parental marital transition

Participants (urban [92.31%], suburban [88.88%], and rural [80%]) explained that relationships helped them reframe their experience with their parents’ divorce or separation (see Table 2). This involved supportive people listening and helping participants to see different perspectives, “she [youth group leader] is like a part of my family and helped me understand what has happened” (19, female, urban). Participants’ experiences are represented in two subthemes: (a) new relational opportunities and (b) divorce can be positive.

New relational opportunities

Participants reported that although the process was painful for many, there were new relational opportunities that came about from their parents’ divorce or separation. New stepfamily members were seen as positive: “we [participant and brother] gained a stepdad that greatly impacted our lives, and we are thankful for that” (19, female, urban), and “I always wanted a sister. It helped put a positive spin on the divorce” (19, female, rural). Additionally, participants shared that, although no longer partnered, parents can take on new positive coparenting relationships. Participants believed positive coparenting was evident when parents were collaborative and both showed support for the adolescent following separation or divorce. A participant explained that both parents still showed support; she explained, “The relationship with my mom and dad was still strong even though they did not get along when married. They were still supportive” (19, female, urban). Another participant explained, “My parents still being friends and coming together for my sisters and I was very helpful” (19, female, rural).

Divorce can be positive

It was also made clear by participants that supportive relationships (including professionals) for adolescents experiencing a parental marital transition should also consider the possibility that the adolescent may positively experience the transition. Participants explained: “the divorce probably was the best thing to ever happen to my family, we all have great relationships now” (19, male, suburban), and “My parents’ divorce actually affected me in a positive way. I grew closer with each parent individually. They were not healthy together” (21, male, suburban). Another participant indicated that, “my parent’s divorce really benefited me. I’m saying this because my father was a very toxic man toward my mother” (19, male, rural). Participants shared that it was helpful for adolescents experiencing parental divorce or separation to know that there can be positive relational outcomes because of this life transition.

Some participants explained that by going through this process, their parents were able to show them how a relationship works: “My parents taught me so much about how a relationship works by going through this separation. [It was painful but] they needed to go through this to become a stronger couple” (19, female, urban). Participants shared that even though parental divorce/separation could be “horrible” or “bad experience,” “It’s a big change but sometimes can be positive” (19, male, suburban). Having an “understanding that things can be better after a divorce” (18, female, rural) was helpful for some participants.

Assistance with boundaries following a parental marital transition

Participants (urban [100%], suburban [66.66%], and rural [72%]) explained that resources and relationships aimed at aiding adolescents in their transition to parental separation or divorce should assist adolescents with establishing boundaries in their parent-child relationships, new roles, and in perceptions of accountability related to the parental marital transition (see Table 2). The theme is presented in three subthemes: (a) navigating conflict between parents, (b) changes in households and roles, and (c) marital transition “was NOT their fault.”

Navigating conflict between parents

It was common for participants to report conflict between parents during and after their parents’ marital transition. This parental conflict had consequences for adolescents as participants reported that they were often forced to pick sides or placed in the middle of the conflict. Participants elaborated: “I was often forced to pick sides and was constantly put in the middle of situations” (18, female, urban), and “my mom and dad would use me as a messenger. They would downgrade each other and always talked about the divorce” (19, male, rural). Participants felt the conflict that also occurred as custody arrangements were made (e.g., “There was a lot of custody battles, and it was difficult to get used to” [19, female, urban]). Participants felt like resources and relationships could aid adolescents in identifying when they were getting sucked into conflict in their parents’ relationships and communicating about how to set appropriate boundaries with parents when this occurred – “[teach] how to handle situations when parents put you in the middle of their problems. … [and] how to handle it when parents try to make you pick or trash talk the other parents” (18, female, urban). Participants saw these boundaries as helpful to maintain that “neither parent is the enemy” (20, female, urban).

Changes in households and roles

Parental marital transitions led to transitions in roles, responsibilities, and households. Navigating these changes was reported to be challenging. Participants explained that “It was hard to switch houses every week” (19, female, suburban) or “weird going back and forth between their houses” (18, male, suburban) because of different routines, expected boundaries, and rules in these households. Participants reported that they could have benefited from outside help in “navigat[ing] different rules at different households” (20, female, urban).

Participants reported that divorcing/separating parents not having good boundaries could lead to adolescents distancing themselves from parents or being forced to grow up “a lot faster” or “too soon.” Some participants explained that they clearly considered and/or set their own boundaries with parents. For example, a participant stated:

I became more independent and got a job so I could support myself and not have to rely on my parents anymore. I also highly considered moving out/living with another relative so I would not be caught in the middle of my parents’ issues. (18, female, urban)

However, some participants felt like they had to take on caregiving roles for younger siblings or other household responsibilities following their parents’ marital transition and did not feel like they were able to set clear boundaries that would allow them to engage in typical adolescent experiences. For instance, a participant explained how her parents expected her to take on caregiving/household roles and how this affected her experience in adolescence:

I had to take care of my brother–so I needed to grow up really fast, and depending on what parent was around, they relied on me for a ton outside of just that. So, I didn’t go out and do normal teenage things unless I snuck out, which rarely happened. (21, female, rural)

Participants shared that guidance and support in how to maintain relationships with their parents while also setting boundaries with new caregiving/household responsibilities would have been helpful so they could still engage in “normal” adolescent activities.

Marital transition “was NOT their fault”

The experience of parental divorce/separation was described as “really confusing” and made some “not really believe in relationships or ever want one because [they] would ultimately come to an end” (female, rural, 19). Participants believed that it was necessary to develop clear boundaries in thinking processes related to personal responsibility in their parents’ marital transition. Based on their personal experiences with adjusting to parental divorce/separation, participants explained that it was important for adolescents to understand that the marital transition was not their fault (e.g., “Keep telling the kids it was NOT their fault” [18, male, suburban]) and that their own future romantic relationships do not have to be like their parents’ relationships (e.g., “[They need to learn] how to not compare your [own] relationships to your parents” [19, female, urban]). In order to reinforce a healthy boundary, participants shared that resources and relationships should provide “an honest look into what divorce is (i.e., what it means, some things that cause it)” (19, female, urban), teach them how to have “healthy communication and identifying unhealthy behaviors” (20, female, rural), and to model and teach “how to have a healthy relationship” (19 female, rural).

Discussion

The Divorce-Stress-Adjustment Perspective (Amato, 2000) posits that adolescents must adapt to many changes associated with a parental marital transition. The current exploratory study used this perspective to understand what protective factors (i.e., resources and relationships) young adults utilized as they adjusted to their parents’ marital transition during adolescence (ages 10–18) and how they described the helpfulness of these relationships and resources. Further, the study considered the potential role of the setting (i.e., level of rurality) in which the adolescent was experiencing the parental marital transition on the use and potential utility of the protective factors.

Identified protective factors: supportive resources and relationships

Parental marriage transitions can be a challenging experience for adolescents (Sumari et al., 2019), as these transitions are often associated with a variety of stressors within the adolescents’ lives (e.g., changes in family routines, new residences; Amato, 2000; Wolchik et al., 2023). When considering protective factors (Amato, 2000), parents, peers, neighbors, and teachers can help adolescents navigate risks and develop skills needed to become healthy and productive adults (Hartman et al., 2011). Similar to previous research (Ehrenberg et al., 2006; Halpenny et al., 2008), participants in this study reported that the most helpful resources and relationships in their adjustment to parental divorce/separation were siblings, mothers, and private therapists/counselors. Ehrenberg et al. (2006) found counselors/therapists, friends, and extended family were identified at the top three best places to go for help; however, they also noted that they might not have used these resources themselves.

Amato (2000) indicated that a person’s culture or setting could determine different outcomes or adjustment for divorce, which may mean that people or resources (protective factors) an adolescent has available or feels comfortable relying on within urban, suburban, and rural environments could vary. In the current study, nearly half of participants from rural environments did not report receiving formal organizational support, while nearly 70% of those participants from urban and suburban areas did rely on formal support. This finding could relate to rural communities having less access to services (Fontanella et al., 2015; Sano et al., 2012) or the potential stigma associated with help seeking in rural areas (Thompson et al., 2018). Further, rural communities are often family centered and rely on neighbors for help (National Public Radio, Robert Wood Johnston Foundation, Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, 2018), this may lead adolescents to view that familial or relational support are more appropriate. Additional research focusing on rurality of adolescents who experience parental divorce or separation should be conducted to further understanding of the perceived helpfulness of resources and relationships. This research should also consider adolescents’ access to available resources and supports during this transition and whether this factors into their perceived helpfulness.

Counselors/therapists are considered a part of formal support, and adolescents have indicated that a private counselor/therapist could be helpful in adjusting to a parental marital transition (Ehrenberg et al., 2006). Rural youth may experience barriers to supportive resources in terms of access or attitudinal issues in their communities (Fontanella et al., 2015; Thompson et al., 2018). Rural and urban residents have similar levels of mental health issues, but rural residents less frequently receive mental health services (Morales et al., 2020). In the current sample, only 38% of participants (31% urban, 56% suburban, and 36% rural) reported meeting with a counselor or therapist. Participants highlighted that there is still room for growth in use of mental health services across all urbanicities studied. Addressing the widespread mental health workforce shortage in the U.S. may increase adolescents’ ability (across rurality levels) to receive formal mental health services (Hoffmann et al., 2023).

Based on previous reports from rural citizens (National Public Radio, Robert Wood Johnston Foundation, Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, 2018), people from rural communities may prioritize seeking support from family and friends during times of stress. In the current study, participants from urban and suburban communities (>50%) reported relying on friends during their adjustment to parental marriage transitions, while fewer participants (33%) from rural communities relied on friends. However, in previous research, adolescents have reported that friends could be helpful resources following parental divorce (Ehrenberg et al., 2006) and peer support has been identified as a supportive factor following parental divorce (Huff & Hartenstein, 2020). In terms of family, Ehrenberg et al. (2006) reported that Canadian youth relied on their mothers as they coped with their parents’ marital transitions.

Findings continue to highlight potential variations in experiences based on rurality where rural participants were more likely to mention mothers as supportive relationships (56%) in this study (urban 38.46%, suburban 33.33%). Participants who experienced an adjustment to their parents’ marital transition at all levels of rurality relied on different family member relationships (more than on external resources), indicating that immediate and extended family relationships may be important supports in assisting youth through this transition. Although there were variations in reporting frequencies (compared to other studies), findings across all levels of rurality support that family and friends were supportive relationships to youth during this transitional time. Additional research on friends and their supportiveness during this transition could be a future area for research to help understand that importance of friends while considering an adolescent’s area of residence during this transition (urban, suburban, or rural).

Focus and qualities of supportive protective factors

Parental marital transitions can be difficult emotional experience for adolescents (Tullius et al., 2022), and participants in this study explained that adolescents experience a variety of emotions when their parents separate or divorce. Participants further explained that helpful supports created a non-judgmental environment where the adolescent is encouraged to identify and express their emotions. This is consistent with previous research, suggesting that adolescents across all levels of rurality may benefit from discussion-based support with professionals and peers during parental marriage transitions (Halpenny et al., 2008). Knowing this could help with development and focus area of programs or services that could be available to adolescents who experience parental marital transitions.

Participants in this study reported that resources and relationships should teach adolescents coping skills. The ability to cope is a protective factor for adolescents (O’Hara et al., 2019), and adolescents can increase in coping self-efficacy through intervention (Boring et al., 2015). Studies have highlighted unique aspects of how family and friend support might help an adolescent in coping activities from simply prompting shared family time (Hutchinson et al., 2007) to specifically communication-based or distraction-based coping (Halpenny et al., 2008). This study highlighted the importance of typical activities with family and friends in adjustment to parental marital transitions as well as strategies that might be classified as communication or distraction-based (e.g., playing games, walking, watching tv, etc.; Hutchinson et al., 2007). Younger Irish youth preferred more distraction-based coping, while older youth preferred more communication-based coping (Halpenny et al., 2008). The current study was retrospective and encouraged young adults to reflect on their full adjustment process from ages 10–18, which may be why both types of coping identified in previous research were present. Future research and outreach should consider focusing on preferred and helpful coping during adjustment during adolescence. Additionally, it should also include the ideas or strategies adolescents could use for coping with these support relationships during this transitional time period.

Parental divorce can have positive effects for children and families (Huff & Hartenstein, 2020), and participants in this study also noted that there may be positive outcomes of divorce that could be highlighted. Resources and relationships aimed at being helpful in adolescent adjustment to a parental marital transition should not assume the adolescent has negative emotions, and rather create a space for an adolescent to express both positive and negative emotions. The retrospective nature of the study allowed participants to consider their adjustment through their parental divorce/separation process (Amato, 2000) and this may have generated lessons learned from the overall experience, which may not be present during the actual adjustment process. For example, participants explained that the experience was initially painful, and then they recognized the potential benefits after time had passed. Additional longitudinal research is needed to fully understand if this an experience for adolescents at the time or largely in retrospect.

The separation or dissolution of a marital relationship can considerably alter the parent-child relationship (Demir-Dagdas, 2021). A parental marital transition can be accompanied by unclear boundaries and adolescents may be caught between parents’ conflicts or negotiations, which is referred to as triangulation (Jackson & Fife, 2018). Triangulation can have negative outcomes on adolescents’ perceptions of social support and future close relationships. In discussing challenges with boundaries, participants in this study indicated that triangulation does happen. Also, while it may be typical for an adolescent to take on some additional household or childcare tasks as a family adapts to a parental marital transition, parent-child psychological boundaries need to remain in place to promote healthy adolescent development (Schorr & Goldner, 2023). Violating these boundaries may look like a parents’ overreliance on adolescents for “concrete instrumental help with housekeeping chores” or “emotional nurturance, support, comfort of closeness” (i.e., parentification of child) (Schorr & Goldner, 2022, p. 2). Some participants in this study felt they did not have typical adolescent developmental experiences because their parents over depended on them during the adjustment to parental marital transition. Further, self-blame for the parental marital transition is a risk factor for children of divorce (Huff & Hartenstein, 2020), and participants in this study indicated that this also needed to be addressed.

Participants believed that helpful resources for adjusting to parental marital transitions should help adolescents to navigate or avoid triangulation, parentification, and self-blame. To do this, participants advocated that resources should be prepared to help adolescents identify and develop healthy boundaries and process and navigate parents’ potentially unhealthy boundaries. Further, participants in this study believed that part of developing healthy boundaries involved honest conversation about divorce, challenging problematic thoughts that perpetuate self-blame (i.e., not taking responsibility for other people’s choices/actions), identifying unhealthy relational behaviors, and having education about healthy relationships. All participants from urban communities stressed the importance of resources and relationships supporting adolescents in communication and boundaries following parental divorce/separation, while a majority, but fewer suburban and rural participants shared this perception. Future research may consider any potential differences in boundary differences in youth experiencing parental marital transitions in urban, suburban, and rural communities. Additionally, offering outreach programs or creation of programs that offer scaffolding techniques regarding boundaries should be considered to help address triangulation.

Limitations and conclusions

The present study did have limitations. While appropriate for an exploratory study, the convenience sampling procedure and retrospective design may limit the applicability of the results. Further, the sample was homogenous in terms of gender and race and was recruited from one university. Future studies with more sample diversity are warranted to understand potential similarities or variations in experiences. Despite the limitations, the current study answered the call to contribute information about the perceived quality and effectiveness in resources and relationships in adjusting to parental marital transitions (Halpenny et al., 2008). Participants in the current study were recruited in the United States, and previous work on helpful resources and relationships in adjusting to parental marital transitions (Ehrenberg et al., 2006; Halpenny et al., 2008) has not included perspectives from individuals in the United States.

Amato’s (2000) Divorce-Stress-Adjustment Perspective provided a framework for exploring the protective factors that young adults felt were most helpful and what they perceived made them beneficial. Further, the study focused on the setting (rural, suburban, urban) in which the adolescent lived to better understand potential differences/similarities in protective factors as participants transitioned to their parents’ divorce/separation process during adolescence. Nearly half of the young adults from rural communities reported not utilizing external and formal resources during their adjustment, but there were several similarities across rurality in what made resources and relationships helpful. Future quantitative research relating to resources and relationships used in adolescent adjustment to parental marriage transitions should include measures of rurality. Additionally, research and evaluation should be conducted on how best to deliver outreach inventions that can support rural youth experiencing parental marital transitions.

Parental marital transitions lead to several changes in interactions across the adolescents’ adjustment to the transition. Participants in this study highlighted that supportive relationships and resources (protective factors) in adolescents’ transition to parental divorce/separation provide a non-judgmental environment for adolescents to process their emotions, assist in developing coping skills, provide guidance in setting boundaries to navigate potential triangulation or parentification, and help in developing healthy relational skills and perspectives. The results from the current study could guide outreach development and program evaluation to meet adolescents with their preferred adjustment methods within relational, clinical, and community educational settings. By further understanding adolescents’ experiences and perspectives across or within different communities, professionals can better provide supports to them and their families as they seek to positively adjust to parental marital transitions.

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author(s).