Motives of Parents Who Request the Catholic Sacraments of Initiation for Their Children

ABSTRACT

Using attachment theory to interrogate findings, a single-case study investigated why parents present their children for the Sacraments of Initiation into the Catholic Church. Twelve parents from the Illawarra region, Australia, participated in the study. Robert K. Yin’s (Case Study Research and Applications: Design and Methods. 6th ed. Sage, 2018) analytic strategy resulted in two research questions (RQ), namely, why do parents present their children for Baptism and secondly, why do they continue with the sacraments of First Holy Communion and Confirmation despite having little to no Church contact during the in-between years? Five overarching themes were found for the first RQ, including non-religious incentive, focus on the child, struggle in understanding Baptism, future orientation and cultural expectation. The second RQ revealed four overarching themes, namely, child-focused apprehension, child-focused commitment, expenditure of time and priorities in a busy life. Emphasis on the child’s welfare was evident in all themes. Discussion focuses on the conflict between Church commitment and emphasis on the child’s well-being.

KEYWORDS:

• Sacraments of initiation
• parental motive
• church expectations
• attachment theory

Introduction

This paper reports an investigation of the motives for parents presenting their children for the three Sacraments of Initiation (Baptism, First Holy Communion, and Confirmation) into the Catholic Church. Research has identified a link between the number of parents who seek the Sacraments of Initiation for their children and their non-participation in the Church.¹ This phenomenon demonstrates a discrepant spectrum between non-practicing parents at one end and at the other, the expectation of Church authorities that these parents are actively involved in the Church,² with neither parent nor Church understanding the views of the other.³

The Sacramental Request from the Parent’s Perspective

A parent’s world comprises the demands of daily living, ranging from the very simple to the more thought-provoking. The request for the three Sacraments of Initiation must be viewed against this practical background, with parental motives for requesting these sacraments being nested in other aspects of the child’s well-being.

The Loss of Parents from the Church

An intergenerational loss of people from the Church has been occurring for some years.⁴ This loss means that these parents lack exposure to Church teachings. It is therefore likely that motives for sacramental requests will reflect parents’ unique lives and not necessarily the expectations of the Church.⁵ The world of both parent and child is one in which both strive to learn new and better ways of dealing with its encounters. The parent views the world through the child’s eyes and so the request for the child’s sacraments aligns with the parent’s desire for the child’s welfare.⁶ This focused care for the child’s well-being, in the context of affection and relationship, provides the crux of attachment theory.

Attachment Theory

Attachment theory was chosen as the interpretive lens for this study. Sacramental requests are made against the close bond that exists between a parent and a child. Seminal work by Bowlby noted that human beings are born with the same innate psychobiological system that motivates the child to seek physical and emotional proximity first to the mother and then the father.⁷ These two people become significant figures of attachment, ensuring that the child is safe, nurtured, and loved. Activation of the attachment system occurs in the face of distress or danger, signalling the parent with the child’s need for protection. This protection provides the child with a secure base (the child can always return to a place of safety), which goes together with a safe haven (the child knows the parent is always available in times of need). Ryan and Deci point out that the human element of attachment, as opposed to its application to the animal kingdom, is the emotional and psychological component of the relationship between parent and child.⁸ With animals, attachment provides protection for the nascent offspring only in protection from predators and the elements. There is no emotional aspect in the animal function of the theory.

In practice, attachment theory is an evolutionary system of adaptive physical and cognitive functioning that ensures the care of the newborn and growing child.⁹ Over time, the safe haven strengthens by repeated parental gestures of care and affection, as well as protection, and so becomes something the child can rely on (described as the Internal Working Model). Within a secure relationship, the child increases in self-efficacy and confidence, reassured that the parent’s protection and nurture will always be available.¹⁰ Using attachment theory, Kirkpatrick saw a person’s relationship with God as a reflection of the parent–child bond.¹¹ Kirkpatrick proposed that God was akin to the attachment figure in a person’s life.¹² That is, God, or Jesus Christ, or some saint or angel existed as a secure base and safe haven for people, from whom separation would be a source of distress. In terms of relationship, God was to the parent as the parent was to the child.

Baptism, First Holy Communion, and Confirmation

In the early years of the Church, the baptized witnessed to the teachings of Jesus Christ with the non-baptized.¹³ The link between witness and curiosity about this witness is generally absent today.¹⁴ A call for a prophetic response by the Church over this issue is needed.¹⁵ Today, such prophetic witness would happen through the structures of parish life. Yet parents whose lives are dominated by the secular realm rather than parish-related events will likely lack the benefits of this witness. Their choice for the Baptism of their child will likely not result from the parish witness of the already baptized.¹⁶

In the Catholic Church, the Eucharist, received by a person in their First Holy Communion, is understood as both action and substance. As action, the Eucharist occurs within the celebration of Mass and is located within that part of the Mass referred to as the Eucharistic prayer.¹⁷ As substance, the Eucharist results from the transformation (or transubstantiation) of the bread and wine into the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ.¹⁸ The Eucharistic action is understood both in terms of communion and sacrifice. In communion, the eucharist brings together the baptized to thank God for what God has done and continues to do through Jesus Christ in today’s world. As an action, the Eucharist signifies reconciliation with God and with each other as baptized members. The Eucharist does not belong to any person or culture. The communal aspect of the Eucharist signifies its commonality to all people.¹⁹ Reception of the Eucharist for the first time by a person reflects a high point in that person’s sacramental journey toward full inclusion in the Catholic Church.

Theologically, the sacrament of Confirmation is intricately linked with Baptism. However, history has seen a temporal separation of both sacraments with the term ‘Confirmation’ appearing in the mid-fifth century.²⁰ Up to that time, this sacrament was associated with the final completion rites of Baptism when the act of sealing the baptized with chrism as a sign of bestowing the Spirit of God appeared in the history of the Church.²¹ Rather than being a ritual, as it is today, the sealing of the baptized individual with the oil of chrism was seen as the involvement of the bishop in the initiation of a candidate.²² This sealing brought Baptism to its completion. Currently, Confirmation assists an individual to move from the faith of childhood to adulthood and discover their place in the Church and the world.²³ Confirmation has now moved away from the rite of Baptism to an emphasis on youth commitment within the Catholic Church, drawing together their human and religious experiences from and within the life of the Church community.²⁴

All three sacraments must be received for a person to be recognized as a full and practicing member of the Catholic Church.

Method

A single case study, adopted with an interpretivist paradigm, was chosen for this study.²⁵ The case was bounded by limiting the cohort to parents who presented their children for Sacraments of Initiation and who resided in the study parish within the Illawarra region of New South Wales, Australia.²⁶ Grandparents were excluded from the sample. Data were thematically analyzed, using Yin’s analytic strategy that generated promising themes or patterns.²⁷ Assumptions, values, beliefs, and norms, encompassed by the study paradigm, considered the requirements of ontology, axiology, and epistemology.²⁸ The University of Notre Dame Australia granted ethical approval (018054S).

Participant Selection

Participant recruitment used the parish baptismal register of records from 2010. This starting point was derived from Mass surveys that reported serious decline in Church attendance. Four males and eight females, with an average age of 39 years, consented to participate. The parish secretary initially contacted potential participants to confidentially inform them of the study and seek interest in their participation. The researcher then contacted those who agreed to participate, providing reasons for and benefits of the study. Participants were informed of using recorded interview for obtaining data, anonymity, and how these data would be used and protected. An information sheet and consent form were forwarded to interested participants. Once the consent form was signed, arrangements were made to meet each participant at a pre-determined place as well as a mutually convenient time for an interview.

Participant selection sought a diverse range of Church attendance from non-attendance through to regular weekly attendance. However, participant selection experienced barriers. Potential participants who did not participate in Church practice declined to take part because of fears of self-disclosure and embarrassment over their absence. These barriers resulted in a small sample size of participants who were participating, although over half reported experiencing a time when they were not actively part of the Church. They returned to the Church following the birth of their first child. Other researchers have noted personal barriers in comparable studies, also resulting in very small sample sizes. For example, Raymond, Profetto-McGrath, Myrick, and Strean managed to find only five out of thirty-five nurse educators for their study, despite a favorable structure of the research design.²⁹ Ridda, MacIntyre, Lindley, and Tan experienced recruitment problems in their clinical trials involving older people.³⁰ Barriers, including unwillingness to participate, poor understanding, and personal temperament, resulted in only 10% of invited participants agreeing to participate. Hsu, O’Connor, and Lee found adverse issues in their research in palliative care, including language and cultural constraints, and taboos around death and dying.³¹ These issues resulted in a poor participation response.

The eventual sample of participants was asked to describe beliefs about the motives of parents who requested the sacraments for their children, despite these parents having little to no contact with the Church. Guest, Bunce, and Johnson suggested that twelve interviews conducted within a group of relatively homogenous individuals should suffice for reaching data saturation.³² Ultimately, the decision was made to proceed with a sample size of twelve participants. The period of non-attendance reproted by the final selection of participants would have enabled them to view the research questions through the eyes of other parents who had little to no contact with the Church. Purposive sampling guided the selection of participants for this study.³³

Research Design

Two research questions (RQ) comprised this study. The first RQ asked participants to express their beliefs about the motives of parents who present their children for Baptism. The second RQ sought participants’ views as to why parents who were irregular or absent in their Church attendance continued to present their children for First Holy Communion and Confirmation.

Semi-structured anonymous interviews were conducted in a private and comfortable space. Participants completed their consent forms as well as a visual analog scale (VAS) of Church attendance before interviews commenced, ranging from no participation to regular participation. Most participants regularly attended Sunday Mass at this time. Explanation about confidentiality and reassurance of the personal comfort of the participant then followed.

The techniques of Egan’s approach underpinned participant interviews.³⁴ Interview length was set at 40–50 minutes, with 20–25 minutes allowed for each research question. Interviews were deleted once they were transcribed.

Data Analysis

The first author randomly chose two transcripts for analysis. The analysis of these transcripts was then reviewed by two different researchers who were familiar with this field of study. Following agreement on the first author’s approach to analysis, he continued with the same approach for the remaining transcripts.

The analytic method outlined by Braun and Clarke was used.³⁵ Six steps were followed using this method, namely, familiarization with the data, generation of initial codes, searching for themes, reviewing themes, defining and naming themes, and producing the article. Codes containing salient and interesting features were then organized into themes. The thematic map of code groupings under their relevant themes tested the goodness-of-fit between the meaning of codes and the research questions. Several iterations refined this part of the process so that themes depicted a true representation of the embedded narrative content and shed light on participant comments about the RQs.

Inter-rater reliability was undertaken before the process of thematic coding commenced. Cohen’s kappa (k) was used to determine inter-rate reliability. The kappa statistic for Question One of this study was k = 0.87, p < 0.01 with a percentage agreement between raters of 88.23%. The kappa statistic for Question Two of this study was k = 0.87, p < 0.01, with a percentage agreement between raters of 86.80%.

Results and Interpretation

The two research questions are reported separately. Throughout the results, participants are represented by the letter P and numbered from 1 to 12.

Parents’ Reasons for Presenting Their Children for Baptism

In response to the first research question regarding participants’ beliefs about why parents present their children for Baptism, five over arching themes emerged from the data. Non-religious incentive referred to secular motives for requesting Baptism, such as entry into a Catholic school or being able to dress up for the occasion. Focus on the child considered what was believed to be best for the child, such as forming a relationship with God. The struggle in understanding Baptism described the inaccurate beliefs of parents about the theology and nature of Baptism. Future orientation looked to the shaping of the child’s future life through Baptism, such as the child’s values and beliefs. Cultural expectation revealed the expectations of grandparents and other extended family member’s beliefs about the necessity of the child’s Baptism (Tables 1 and 2).

Table 1. Thematic results for the study question of why parents present their children for Baptism.

Overarching theme	Meaning	Code	Sub-theme
Non-religious incentive	Catholic education Belonging and connection Tick off the box Dressing up	Catholic school enrolment Social inclusion Agenda driven Obligation Ceremony	School choice Connection Welcome Duty bound Celebration
Focus on the child	Spiritual dimension Relationship with God Best for the child Future trajectory	Spiritual symbol Spiritual union Well-being is central focus Future well-being	Spiritual dimension Divine relationship Right thing to do Good beginnings
The struggle in understanding Baptism	Original sin Separation from God until baptized Source of transcendent love	Conflict between original sin and God’s love Spiritual inoculation God loves the child	Seeking understanding Apprehension for the child Transcendent protection
Future orientation	Spiritual practice Future shaping of child’s life Existential value of beliefs	Inner contemplation Life is shaped Personal uniqueness	Spiritual gateway Best path Best beginning
Cultural expectation	Expectation of grandparents Family tradition Cultural responsibility	Grandparent pressure Family tradition Cultural responsibility	Extended family pressure Religious tradition Singular option

Table 2. Thematic results for the study question of why parents continue to present their children for First Holy Communion and Confirmation.

Overarching theme	Meaning	Code	Sub-theme
Child-focused apprehension	Secure peer group Child’s future well-being A serious decision The end of a sacramental journey	Peer inclusion Future well-being A decision of seriousness Relief from parental responsibility	Peer isolation Secure foundation Vigilance Religious identity
Child-focused commitment	Challenged by the child’s welfare Inner ‘tug of the heart’ Connection with the divine	The best for one’s child Parent-child bond parallel Awareness of a divine presence	Facing obstacles Right thing to do Touching the divine
Expenditure of time	Sunday is a workday Accountability for time use Work invades personal time	Time defined by productivity Time is a liability of control Time is an expensive luxury	Yearning for the past Time allocation Need for respite
Priorities in a busy life	Clash between work and child commitments Sunday Mass is burdensome Reminder that Sunday Mass is lost within other life events	Partition of parental duties Non-fulfilling opportunity Sacraments a ‘wake-up call’	Seeking time for self Unwanted burden Loss of focus

Participant comments described parents as being challenged by previously unrecognized issues following the birth of their child. This birth was generally the first child who was thought of as a child growing up in the future. Parents were seen to approach Baptism not as a sacramental encounter in the present moment but as a scaffolding for the child’s future well-being, protection, and growth.

Non-religious Incentive and FOCUS on the Child

Entry into a Catholic school dominated comments for Non-religious incentive. Participants believed that parents addressed the child’s temporal needs and by passed the theological or spiritual nature of Baptism. The non-religious incentive to request Baptism was dominated by participant comments about the desire for the child to enter a Catholic school: ‘Some parents have baptized their children so they can have the option of going to a Catholic school’ (P4). Participants perceived parents’ understanding of Baptism as a type of agenda-driven necessity to achieve this end: ‘It’s driven by this ideology that my child can then go to a Catholic school’ (P3). The Catholic school was seen to provide parents with social inclusion and connection with other parents, as well as Catholic education for the child. Participant 6 seemed to describe her own experience when speaking about this aspect of parents’ motives: ‘The part that I did resonate with was actually being connected to people … as opposed to a transformative experience.’ Participants also saw parents’ attitude to the baptismal occasion as an opportunity to dress up and show one’s child before public view: ‘People do it because … they get dressed up and it’s lovely’ (P11). These tendencies seemed to take precedence over Church expectations of participation in one’s parish. Overall, Baptism was seen by participants as a secular event in the parent’s life: ‘They know they have to tick off that box’ (P8).

The Struggle in Understanding Baptism and Future Orientation

There was reference to the spiritual sensitivity for the child: ‘ … they really want that spiritual dimension to their lives … Baptism is a symbolic gesture towards that end’ (P6). Participant comments perceived the relationship between parent and God to be a protective figure both in the present and future times of the child’s life: ‘ … it is how children are born into God’s family’ (P1). This spiritual dimension and the need to have it present in the child’s life was seen to flow over into the parent’s wish for Baptism, setting the child on a firm footing in his or her future: ‘Deep down inside, they really do believe that this is the right thing for the child’ (P9).

Not understanding the meaning of Baptism was linked to the emphasis that participants placed on the child’s welfare. Earlier teachings of the Church about original sin were reported to sit in the background of parents’ understanding of Baptism, with Participant 6 describing her own feelings about original sin within her perception of parents’ understanding: ‘I’ve never understood the idea of original sin being washed away in Baptism … made it a bit tricky.’

Participants, who now took part in church worship, made comments about their fear of original sin and the unbaptized child. They described a belief about God being harsh and unaffectionate. A personal struggle for parents became apparent in participants’ comments around original sin. The struggle was between the need to inoculate one’s child against the condemnation of God due to a lack of Baptism and the love of God for the child. Participant 2 reflected on personal reasons for baptizing her children: ‘If anything happens to the baby, they don’t get caught in purgatory … they will be left in limbo … you know, caught between heaven and hell.’ Through their own beliefs and fears, participants believed that parents saw their child as being vulnerable before God until the time of his or her Baptism. After Baptism, the child would be assured of the ongoing care and protection of God: ‘They want the comfort that it brings even though they mightn’t understand it … there’s a consolation in it’ (P11).

Participants appeared to see Baptism as a symbolic reflection of a spiritual inoculation and source of love: ‘Baptism is a gateway towards spiritual practice’ (P6) and ‘It is the start of their relationship with God, essentially’ (P1). Baptism was viewed as a sacrament that the parent passed on to the child: ‘I was baptized and came through as a Catholic … that’s what my parents did for me and that’s what I am going to do for my children’ (P?). Participant 3 centered on the child’s unique place in life, seen in the child’s growing sensitivity toward self and those with whom they shared the world: ‘ … growing up believing in something that has the power to not only change your life but change other people’s lives.’ Baptism was seen to provide parents with the reassurance that this was the best thing for their child, who would therefore have faith and be protected by God: ‘It gives people comfort knowing that there’s some kind of transcendent being that loves them’ (P11).

In attempting to describe the motives of parents for requesting Baptism, participants reverted to their own motives for entreating Baptism. For participants, Baptism was not so much a sacrament of entry into the Church but rather a means of keeping the child safe and loved by God. This connection between Baptism and the child’s welfare seemed important in participant comments, as if the child entered a private relationship with God through this sacrament. As such, being involved in Church appeared to have nothing to do with why a parent might baptize a child. Rather, Baptism was seen as a private gateway of entry for the child into the ongoing love of God.

Cultural Expectation

Participants referred to a cultural and familial obligation to follow through with the wishes of grandparents: ‘ … There is pressure from the grandparents to make sure the children are baptized’ (P1). The link between the expectations of extended family and Baptism was understood to lie in bringing the child into his or her family tradition. As the grandparents and parents themselves were baptized, then so too would be the child: ‘ … in a lot of cultures, they would baptize their child because that’s just what they do’ (P1). Entry into the family tradition through Baptism seemed to take precedence over entry into the Church: ‘Family culture factored into that tradition … it was just an expectation, so you just kind of go through with family expectation’ (P6).

Parents’ Reasons for Requesting the Sacraments of First Holy Communion and Confirmation for Their Child Despite Having Little or No Contact with the Church During the In-between Times

In response to the second research question regarding participants’ beliefs about why parents continue to present their children for First Holy Communion and Confirmation despite having little to no contact with the Church, four overarching themes emerged from the data for this question. Child-focused apprehension dealt with issues arising for the child’s future without these sacraments being administered. Child-focused commitment considered challenges to the child’s present and future welfare. Expenditure of time focused on the intrusion of sacramental preparation into parents’ personal time. Priorities in a busy life considered the clash between work and sacramental commitments.

First Holy Communion and Confirmation are seen by the Church to follow on from Baptism as sacraments that bring the child into final and full membership of the Church. Participants saw the final two sacraments as being a surprise for parents, creating disruption in their otherwise planned lives. Yet they also commented on parents’ willingness to request these sacraments. Participants described what amounted to admiration for parents in relation to this willingness.

Child-Focused Apprehension and Child-Focused Commitment

Participants saw the desire for divine protection of the child as sitting alongside the intrusion of sacramental preparation into the parent’s life, though the intrusion seemed worth the outcome of attaining God’s care for the child through these sacraments. There was no resentment in participant comments about parents’ motives at these times, despite the inconvenience that might have been caused: ‘You make a decision to do it, not just to get to the next step, but because you believe it’s a good foundation for your children’ (P2).

Group mentality was believed to prompt parents to request the final two sacraments. Participants saw parents as being concerned about the child’s peer relationships: ‘If he doesn’t go, he’ll be left out … he might be ostracised, isolated, those kinds of things’ (P6). The presence of God in the child’s life was also regarded as being an important reason for requesting these sacraments: ‘I wonder if connecting with the divine is a strong motivation for many people … maybe this is the crux of the challenge’ (P6). Parental commitment to these final sacraments was thought to focus on requesting them out of obligation rather than as high points in the child’s journey into the Church: ‘There’s still something inside that tells them that this is the right thing, or what they really want’ (P1). At the same time, one participant saw parents as contributing to the process begun at Baptism. This link was involved with Church participation, as Participant 3 explained:

It's like with anything if you’re away from it, it’s not strong. But if you’re doing it, [if] you’re part of that verb, the doing, then you are stronger for it. And I just think that some parents would actually do it, because they feel like they’re part of the process.

Participants described the parental request for Confirmation as terminating the parent’s responsibility for the child’s participation in the Church. From this point on, the child would exercise his or her Church membership as seen fit: ‘Receiving First Holy Communion and Confirmation, that then completes the sacraments, to enable them to be a Catholic and then do what they want with that’ (P7). This sense of termination was not seen as taking away from parents’ view that these sacraments were an important step, ‘the next big gesture … that has to be faced’ (P6). Another participant also saw the sacraments as ‘the next step’ (P2). The word ‘next’ in both comments suggested that the sacraments were a one-off occasion and not a sacramental journey. In participants’ thinking, the journey was in terms of coming to each sacrament when it occurred and not as a highpoint in ongoing Church participation. While participants saw each sacrament as important in parents’ minds, they were still seen as one-off moments of celebration that belonged to a certain time in the child’s life rather than establishing the child’s continuing membership in the Church.

Parents were also thought to seek guidance and comfort through their child’s sacraments even though they remained outside the Church during non-sacramental times. Participants reflected on parents searching for something from the Church: ‘Probably they’re really looking for something that is internally meaningful … something that either brings down stress or gives perspective’ and ‘How does the Catholic Church really connect us with the divine?’ (P6). At the same time, the Church was seen by one participant as not giving parents what they sought. This person also seemed to be speaking from her own perspective on this issue. There was a sense of disillusionment in her comments, expressing the belief that the Church, in her opinion, did not give what was needed in life: ‘Connecting with God or Jesus, even connecting with a warm experience of love, is just not there … I guess it’s kind of lost amidst the ritual’ (P6). Several participants believed along similar lines to Participant 6. As presently active members, they were not convinced that the Church provided them with what they truly wanted. There was empathy between participants and their views about parental motives on this point.

Commitment to the well-being of both parent and child was seen to occur through the child’s reception of the sacraments. There seemed to be a tension between wishing to belong to the Church and being seen to belong. Participant 1, a mother of five children, made the following comment against the background of practice:

So, when you stop doing that, you know, that doesn’t make us not called Catholics anymore … [pause], We still want to be a part … I’m sure people have a lot of guilt about it, that they don’t go to Mass anymore … but people still want to belong.

Once again, these comments revealed a rally point between participants and parents over feelings about the Church and parental requests for sacraments. The sense of ‘the Church over there’ that does not understand my needs, versus ‘the Church here with me’ that responds with care, was present in this comment.

Expenditure of Time and Priorities in a Busy Life

As outlined by most participants, the Church took second place to the needs of the parents: ‘When you have the husband and wife working quite large amounts of hours … I find that Sunday is generally the only day off’ (P9). People found themselves having to ‘make decisions about how they spend their time’ (P4). Time expenditure meant being caught between a rock and a hard place. Participants saw parents as being accountable for their work and leisure time, with the burden of ‘working large amounts of hours’ situating Sunday as the ‘only day off’ (P9). Accountability for how they spent time did not appear to be negotiable.

All participants were asked if parents saw the final sacraments as creeping up on them without their awareness. In their responses, participants viewed parents as overlooking the burdens imposed by sacramental preparation and committing themselves to Church expectations, at least for the preparation period. They viewed the final two sacraments as a surprise event for parents, yet also saw them bringing their resources to the fore in meeting their demands. Sunday Mass was included as part of this preparation period and once more the personal feelings of one participant flavoured her comments about parents in relation to Sunday Mass: ‘It’s another event we’ve got to go to … and I’ve got to drag the kids along, I’ve got to drag the partner along, drag whoever along, I’ve got to drag myself along’ (P6).

Sunday Mass was clearly not seen as a fulfilling occasion by another participant, nor did it appear to be part of the routine of life: ‘Life was so busy that matters of faith can kind of get pushed into the background’ (P2). This participant went through a particularly long period of absence from the Church and was suspected of presently not being fully committed to Church. The connection between beliefs about parents’ motives and the participant’s personal feelings was apparent. The Church was seen by this participant as being off the radar of his and parents’ awareness. He saw parental motives through the lens of his own experience.

This drift away from the Church and Sunday Mass seemed to happen without conscious awareness. When the son or daughter’s next sacrament became apparent, the awareness of non-participation was seen by participants as coming to the fore in parents’ thinking. While it would have been easier to ignore the child’s sacraments, parents were considered to willingly carry the demands imposed by them for the sake of the child.

Participant 2 stated that matters of faith ‘can kind of get pushed into the background.’ This participant added that non-participation was not deliberate. This participant experienced sympathy over what were seen as reasons for not being active within the Church. The words ‘kind of’ suggest non-participation gradually happened without realization. Participant 6 passed her own feelings onto parents about loss of contact with the Church through its lack of relevance in her life: ‘The Church ceremony didn’t ever resonate with me and … it was quite tedious. It doesn’t necessarily give much in terms of a grounding experience, or an experience that is reinforcing enough to come back’ (P6). Participant 6 had experienced a period of absence from the Church.

Participants generally saw the priority placed by parents on the child receiving the final Sacraments of Initiation as indicating a tension between inconvenience and the inner need of parents to discover something that took them and their child beyond everyday life. Parents were seen by participants to engage in a spiritual connection with God in seeking the best for their children. It seemed that these sacraments, following Baptism, provided a later conduit for nourishing the parents’ own spiritual needs: ‘I presume that’s why most people turn to religion later in life, then they’re older and they are looking for something more’ (P1).

Discussion

The discussion moves from recounting the value of attachment theory to the benefits of reviewing this relationship between parent and Church as synergistic for the welfare of the child. It must be stated that participants in the study were speaking about the motives of parents who wished their children to receive the Sacraments of Initiation. There was no certainty that their views equated with the actual beliefs of parents themselves. This aspect is the subject of future research. However, that participants occasionally drifted from beliefs about parents into their own experiences suggested empathy for parents’ difficulties in seeking sacraments for their children. Problems communicating with the Church brought participant and parent together and tended to strengthen the validity of participant beliefs. Participants were sympathetic toward parents who needed to approach an often-alien Church for the sacraments of their children. They spoke of parents’ motives in terms of how they themselves saw the Church.

The first issue arising from this study was the continuous focus on the importance of the child in sacramental requests. Attachment theory provides a lens through which to view this focus. Within a secure child–parent relationship, the child takes priority in whatever occupies a parent’s life. A parent’s concern for the child’s welfare is both present and future oriented. What occupies the child’s attention and energy now will have important consequences for the child’s future. In terms of protecting the child as he or she moves more fully into engaging with the world, parents will do all in their power to ensure that their children have the best support for doing this. Hence, entry into a Catholic school becomes important, providing the child with what the parent sees as the best education. From the parent’s own religious upbringing, having the child embraced in the care and love of God is essential for his or her security. Making sure that the child will be taken into God’s presence should he or she die without Baptism is an important (though misguided) issue for parents.

Attachment theory describes the dependency of the young on the mother. In human terms, the child, who is seen as vulnerable, relies on the parent to provide support and protection, to teach the child how to integrate self with the world, to offer affection and love, and to welcome the child, especially at times of misadventure. Sacraments become part of this priority. They are seen by parents as divine actions that guarantee a life of security and comfort for the child, especially during those times when absent from the parent’s circle of watchfulness.

The second issue arising from this study also finds attachment theory as a lens for interpretation. Powell et al. in particular, and Crittenden, reported parent–child attachment as the protective care of parents being established in children’s present and future welfare.³⁶³⁷ This protective care was evident among the views of this research, although to a much greater extent. It was of interest that participants, at times, entered the worldview of parents (as they saw these worldviews) from their own experiences of Church. This melding of perspectives was particularly evident with aspects of belief such as original sin and the fear this belief brought about. It was also evident in the commitment to participate in Sunday Mass, especially when this event challenged a person’s free time. The feelings of separation and distance from the Church, expressly during ritual celebrations, were also a point of connection between participant and parent. While participants spoke about parental motives, they did so with empathy toward the parent. It was as if participants understood why parents acted as they did from the standpoint of their own life experiences with the Church. The Church therefore became the common feature of confusion and perhaps alienation for both participant and parent.

Kirkpatrick applied attachment theory to the relationship between a person and God.³⁸ That is, God becomes the parent to the person as the person is a parent to the child. The Church is the sacramental presence of Jesus Christ within the world. When a child is brought into this Church through a particular sacrament, he or she is also gifted through a relationship with God that ensures a bond that can never be severed. Parents, according to how participants saw them, appeared to be seeking this bond both for themselves and their children. They did so because of the relationship bond they had with their children. While the Church cannot be expected to put aside its time-revered laws and expectations, it can become sympathetic to this primary motive when a parent seeks a sacrament for their child. In this way, the Church enters a bond of attachment with the parent. It offers the parent affection and support, guidance, encouragement to move forward, and, when the relationship becomes difficult, a place of welcome back into its midst. Perhaps the language spoken between parent and Church on these occasions is not understood. Perhaps parents are speaking one language (the language of care for the child) and the Church is speaking another (the need to see Church as prominent in the child’s life through a sacrament), and both cannot understand what each is looking for.

Three suggestions are presented here to support parents’ knowledge, understanding, and commitment at the time of requesting sacraments for their children. First, parental learning and understanding of Church teachings could be enriched by combining this learning and understanding within the context of the well-being of the child. Second, the Church can learn much from the lives of parents and their families. Coping with the expectations of life can be a complex duty. Helping parents to see God and the Church as contained within these expectancies rather than viewing them as irrelevant to a sacramental event might encourage parents to see that the Church is truly interested in the burdens and joys of family life. Third, when parents see the Church as an advocate in their lives rather than a burden and barrier, then communication of mutual need and response can begin.

These approaches would ensure that Church and parents are more closely united, with each cohort respecting the requirements of the other through the lens of the child’s religious and spiritual well-being. All that parents were believed to know was that the Sacraments of Initiation provided a direct link with God as a source of well-being for their children. This belief would provide an excellent starting point for the Church to encourage and teach parents about the relevance of a sacrament to the action of God in the lives of their children. There was an awareness of God, viewed by participants as present in the minds of parents, and parents wanted their children to experience a similar awareness. It was of interest that a dominant feature of participant comments was that parents did possess this image of God and they wished to pass this image onto their children.

Conclusion

Participants saw parents as feeling confused about the sacramental expectations of the Church and yet they also believed that parents found time and energy to commit to the sacramental requests for their children. The application of attachment theory described this parent cohort as protecting their children’s welfare. In this way, attachment theory shed light on understanding parental motives for seeking Sacraments of Initiation for their children. The sacraments provided the child with the protection and nurturance of God, especially when parents were not physically present to ensure their children’s well-being. Participant comments generally indicated that the Church provided the vehicle rather than the reason for this sacramental care. A major finding was the primacy of the child across all themes, with this primacy being placed above the needs and priorities of parent’s lives.

Disclosure Statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author(s).

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Gerard Stoyles

Gerard Stoyles is a PhD candidate, Catholic priest, and clinical psychologist.

Kevin Watson

Kevin Watson is a professor in the Faculty of Education, Philosophy and Theology, and an undergraduate secondary programme coordinator.

Stephen Bullivant

Stephen Bullivant is a professor of theology and the sociology of religion.

Notes

1 The breadth of this research is too great to outline in this paper. The principal research focus is on an investigation by the Australian Catholic Bishops Conference (ACBC). The ACBC found that decline in Australian Mass attendance has been gradual and consistent over time. In 2006, 13.8% of Catholics regularly attended Sunday Mass. In 2016, 11.8% of the Catholic population were regular Mass attenders. In 2013, Dixon Reid and Chee also noted an increase from 2 to 14 dioceses with Mass attendance rates below 10%. The document titled Catholic Schools at a Crossroads (commissioned by the bishops of NSW and the Australian Capital Territory in 2007), noted that Catholic schools were failing in their efforts to retain young people in the practice of the Catholic Church. By 2022, these young people would be moving towards the age of parents who today present their children for Baptism.

2 Frabutt et al., “Pastors’ Views of Parents and the Parental Role,” 28–29.

3 Dixon, Reid, and Chee, “Mass Attendance in Australia,” 9.

4 Voas and Storm, “National Context, Parental Socialisation,” 191–93.

5 Ibid., 90–93.

6 Boyas et al., “Suicide Ideation Among Latinx Adolescents,” 176–77.

7 Bowlby, Attachment and Loss, vol. 1, [page number]. (This volume is the seminal work for Bowlby’s theory of attachment).

8 Kim, Woodhouse, and Dai, “Learning to Provide Children,” 1320.

9 Crittenden, “Gifts from Mary Ainsworth and John Bowlby,” [page number].

10 Melinder et al., “Children’s Memories of Removal,” 125.

11 Kirkpatrick, Attachment, Evolution, and the Psychology of Religion, 52–56.

12 Ibid., 56.

13 Strickland, “The (In)significance of the Baptizer in the Early Church,” 355–57.

14 Case, The Messy Table, 109–24.

15 De Gruchy, “Kairos Moments and Prophetic Witness,” 1–7.

16 Burr et al., “Generation to Generation,” 185.

17 Catechism of the Catholic Church, Nos. 1348ff.

18 Ibid., No. 1375.

19 See note 14.

20 Bernier, “The Sacrament of Confirmation in Roman Catholic Tradition,” 63–79.

21 Ferguson, Baptism in the Early Church, 479–81, 760–61, 768.

22 Bernier, “The Sacrament of Confirmation in Roman Catholic Tradition,” 88–151.

23 Pribyl, 217–28.

24 Ibid., 221.

25 Yin, Case Study and Applications, 281, 331.

26 Merriam, Qualitative Research, 40–43, 41.

27 Yin, Case Study and Applications, 337.

28 Baxter and Jack, “Qualitative Case Study Methodology,” 555–56.

29 Raymond et al., “Successes and Challenges of Recruiting and Retaining Participants,” 92–94.

30 Ridda et al., “Difficulties in Recruiting Older People in Clinical Trials,” 902.

31 Hsu et al., “The Difficulties of Recruiting Participants,” 2–3.

32 Guest et al., “How Many Interviews ARE enough?” 59.

33 Farrugia, “WASP: Sampling in Qualitative Research,” 70.

34 Egan, The Skilled Helper, 38–42.

35 Braun and Clarke, “Using Thematic Analysis in Psychology,” 87.

36 Powell et al., The Circle of Security Intervention.

37 See note 9.

38 See note 11.