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ABSTRACT
I hope to engage in conversation with my mother in establishing a dialogue where I (and the reader) might enter her dream. In doing so, I will refigure the psychoanalytic dream into a Latinx dream rooted in the lived, cotidiano (everyday), experience of being ‘a-cross.’ This experience is further elaborated through a Hispanic Pentecostalism. Secondly, I hope to share my dream and develop the historical lines between my mom’s immigrant experience, and my own Hispanic/Canadian trans experience.
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No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author(s).
Notes
1 Ogden, “Frontier of Dreaming,” 8, 11.
2 Ogden, “On Holding and Containing,” 1359.
3 Ogden, “Frontier of Dreaming,” 12.
4 This conversation was held with my mom in the knowledge that I would be writing on it, and further the final version has been read and approved by her.
5 Winnicot qtd. in Odgen, “Frontier of Dreaming,” 1352.
6 Coyotes are paid to guide people illegally across the Latin American borders into the United States.
7 When listening to my mom a dream of the Israelites travelling the desert formed in my mind. A problematic dream, as in the Bible the 40 years stands as a curse from an angry God. But thinking in the dream, I also thought of Auerbach’s analysis of the Biblical narrative. As he states, the biblical narrative allows for ‘[certain parts to be] left obscure, abruptness, suggestive influence of the unexpressed, “background” quality, multiplicity of meanings and the need for interpretation, … development of the concept of historically becoming, and preoccupation with the problematic’ (Auerbach, “Odysseus’ Scar,” 23).
8 Ogden, “On Holding and Containing,” 1358.
9 Ibid., 1358.
10 Ibid.
11 Freud, “Letter to Andreas-Salomé” qtd. in Ogden, “Frontier of Dreaming,” 8.
12 Ibid.
13 Bion, Attention and Interpretation qtd. in Ogden, “On Holding and Containing,” 1358.
14 Ogden, “On Holding and Containing,” 1359.
15 Vasconcelos, The Cosmic Race, 412.
16 Carrillo Rowe, “Settler Xicana,” 533.
17 Carrillo Rowe’s settler desire is rooted in her position as living in the American southwest, where she inhabits (as Susy Zepeda argues), “a critical approach to the ‘notion of territory that positioned the ancestors of Chicanos as the original peoples of the US Southwest, disregarding other Indigenous peoples and histories” (Zepeda qtd. in Carrillo Rowe, “Settler Xicana,” 530). My use in the text is in understanding a settler desire in disregarding the possibility of a ‘Hispanic-identity’ in Toronto, desiring imaginaries more consistent with American constructions of the ‘Latino.’
18 Aguilar de la Cruz, “Pentecostalism and Mestizaje in Mexico City,” 180.
19 Ibid., 184.
20 Ibid., 187.
21 Vasconcelos, The Cosmic Race, 406.
22 Ibid., 407
23 Ibid., 412.
24 Mcleary and Pesina, qtd. in Berhó et al., “Global Pentecostalism and Ethnic Identity,” 14.
25 Ibid., 15.
26 Ibid., 25.
27 Medina, “Taking La Lucha to Heart,” 41.
28 Isasi-Diaz qtd. in Medina, “Taking La Lucha to Heart,” 39.
29 Ibid., 42.
30 Exodus 13:21.
31 Salazar, “Asesinaron de un Balazo una adolescente trans en Guatemala”.
32 Aizura, Mobile Subjects: Transnational Imaginaries of gender Reassignment. 86.
33 Ibid., 87.
34 Fuks et al., “Acculturation Experiences among LGBT Immigrants in Canada,” 307.
35 Cerezo, et al., “Trans Migrations: Exploring Life at the Intersection of Transgender Identity and Immigration,” 175.
36 Fuks et al., “Acculturation Experiences among LGBT Immigrants in Canada,” 316.
37 Ibid., 316.
38 Bettcher, “On Transphobic Violence.”
39 “A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, ‘Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.’ 3 Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. ‘I am willing,’ he said. ‘Be clean!’ Immediately he was cleansed of his leprosy” (Matthew 8.2-3).
As such, the leper is reintroduced to society, a ‘cure’ in the acceptance into community; (as opposed again to the stigma found in Numbers 5: The LORD said to Moses,
Command the Israelites to send away from the camp anyone who has a defiling skin disease or a discharge of any kind, or who is ceremonially unclean because of a dead body. Send away male and female alike; send them outside the camp so they will not defile their camp, where I dwell among them.
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Sam Sanchinel
Sam Sanchinel is a PhD student in the Women and Gender Studies Institute at the University of Toronto. Their research centers the interrelation between trans identity and religion, leaning into a focus on Latinx Studies. Broadly, their interests include Trans Studies, Continental Philosophy of Religion, Chicana Feminism, and Queer Theory. They received a BA and MA in the Humanities from York University.