The harmony of family and the silence of women: sexual attitudes and practices among rural married women in northern Viet Nam

Abstract

Women in Viet Nam have long had to face various sexual and reproductive health problems, ranging from abortion to reproductive tract infections (RTIs) and sexual coercion. These issues have increasingly been addressed by scholars in the fields of public health and social sciences through sexual and reproductive health research and in other ways. Despite this, there remains a lack of in‐depth information on attitudes and practices regarding sex and sexuality of Vietnamese women today. This paper in part responds to the knowledge gap by reporting on findings from qualitative research on sexual attitudes and practices among rural married women in a Northern rural community, measured against the broader social and cultural context. Twenty‐five women in total were interviewed; and two focus group discussions were conducted. The findings show that women generally believe that men are (or should be) the initiators in sexual relations. Many women feel reluctant to refuse sex to their husbands or communicate openly about sex and sexuality. However, this paper also demonstrates that women are not totally passive in sexual relations. Women in this study used a range of strategies to negotiate their sexual life, and sometimes ‘silence’ is used as a form of agency in order to maintain harmony and happiness within the family.

Résumé

Au Vietnam, les femmes sont depuis longtemps confrontées à différents problèmes de santé sexuelle et reproductive, allant de l'avortement aux infections du système reproductif et à la coercition sexuelle. Ces questions sont de plus en plus souvent abordées par les spécialistes de la santé publique et des sciences sociales, à travers les recherches sur la santé sexuelle et reproductive, et par d'autres biais. Malgré cela, les connaissances approfondies sur les attitudes et les pratiques dans le domaine des rapports sexuels et de la sexualité chez les femmes vietnamiennes d'aujourd'hui sont encore insuffisantes. Cet article vient combler ces lacunes partiellement, en rendant compte des résultats d'une recherche qualitative sur les attitudes et les pratiques sexuelles parmi des femmes mariées vivant dans une communauté rurale du Nord du Vietnam, évaluées par juxtaposition au contexte social et culturel élargi. Des entretiens ont eu lieu avec vingt‐cinq femmes au total; et deux groupes de discussion thématique ont été menés. Les résultats montrent que, d'une manière générale, les femmes croient que les hommes sont (ou devraient être) les initiateurs des rapports sexuels. Beaucoup de femmes hésitent à refuser les rapports sexuels à leurs maris ou à communiquer ouvertement sur les rapports sexuels et la sexualité. Cependant, cet article démontre aussi que les femmes ne sont pas complètement passives dans les relations sexuelles. Les participantes à cette étude employaient plusieurs stratégies pour négocier leur vie sexuelle, et parfois, «le silence» était utilisé comme une forme d'autonomie d'action permettant le maintien de l'harmonie et du bonheur dans la famille.

Resumen

Desde hace tiempo las mujeres de Vietnam han tenido que hacer frente a diferentes problemas sexuales y de la salud reproductora desde el aborto hasta infecciones del aparato reproductor y coerción sexual. Estas cuestiones han sido cada vez más analizadas por eruditos en los campos de la salud pública y las ciencias sociales a través de estudios sobre la salud sexual y reproductora y con otros métodos. Pese a esto, existe hoy día una falta de información exhaustiva sobre las actitudes y las prácticas con respecto al sexo y la sexualidad de las mujeres de Vietnam. En este ensayo respondemos en parte a la laguna informativa comunicando los resultados de un estudio cualitativo en cuanto a las actitudes y prácticas sexuales de mujeres casadas de zonas rurales de una comunidad rural al norte del país en el que se comparan amplios aspectos sociales y culturales. En total fueron entrevistadas veinticinco mujeres y se realizaron dos grupos de discusión. Los resultados indican que las mujeres en general creen que los hombres son (o deberían ser) los responsables de iniciar las relaciones sexuales. Muchas mujeres son reacias a negarse a tener relaciones sexuales con sus maridos o hablar con ellos abiertamente sobre sexo y sexualidad. Sin embargo, en este artículo también demostramos que las mujeres no son totalmente pasivas en las relaciones sexuales. Las mujeres que participaron en este estudio utilizaban toda una serie de estrategias para negociar sus vidas sexuales y el silencio se usa a veces como medio de acción para conservar la armonía y la felicidad en la familia.

Keywords:

• sexuality
• Viet Nam
• married women
• agency

Acknowledgements

This paper was developed from work undertaken for a Masters degree in Public Health awarded by Columbia University and supported by the Ford Foundation. I gratefully acknowledge my colleagues in the Consultation of Investment in Health Promotion and in Population and Development International for their support during the study and field work. A profound debt of gratitude is owed to the support of members in the Women's Union of Yen Mo district and the people who welcomed and shared their private lives with me. Thanks to Carole Vance, Dorinda Welle, Lenore Manderson, Philip Guest, Le Minh Giang, Nguyen Truong Nam and the anonymous reviewers of Culture, Health and Sexuality for their comments. Last but not least, I would like to thank Philip Martin and Lauren Meeker for their support in English language editing.

Notes

1. According to a recent demographic survey, 81% of Vietnamese women live in rural areas (NCPFC 2003).

2. The Viet Nam Demographic and Health survey for 2002 showed that 18% of ever‐married women in the Red River Delta region had no education or had completed primary education only. The majority of rural married women had completed lower secondary school. A large majority (94%) of women in the rural area were currently working (NCPFC 2003).

3. According to local community leaders, a poor family has an income about or less than 20 kg of paddy per person per month (equivalent to US$ 5 per person per month); an average family has income around 30 kg of paddy per person per month (equivalent to US$ 7.5 per person per month); and a well‐off family has income above 50 kgs of paddy per person per month (equivalent to US$ 10.5 per person per month).

4. Ancestor worship is the veneration of the spirits of the deceased by their living relatives. In Vietnamese society, ancestor worship is a prevalent ritual regardless of religious denomination (Buddhist or Christian) Confucianism states that the souls of the ancestors reside with and control the fortunes of the family. The eldest son in the family (or the head of the kin) is responsible for conducting the relevant ceremonies. Available from: http://www.orient‐tours.nl/2vietnaminsights/religion/confuc_2.html [Accessed 23 October 2007].

5. In 2000, only 4% of Vietnamese women aged 54 had never married.

6. Mai is a pseudonym, as are all other personal names used in this article.

7. Data from Vietnam Demographic and Health Survey, 2002 show that only 2.2% of ever‐married women have been divorced (NCPFC 2003).