Sex life and sexuality among tongqi: doing gender and heterosexuality

Abstract

The term tongqi refers to cisgender, heterosexual women who unwittingly marry non-straight men. In mainland China, their adverse social position and health have been the subject of concern. This study aims to broaden and diversify perceptions of the lived experiences of tongqi by focusing on sex and sexualities in mixed-orientation marriages. Four themes (lack of sexuality-related exploration before marriage, the unsatisfactory nature of marital sex life, the exercise of sexual agency, and increased self-awakening) were developed from observations of a tongqi online support group and 12 semi-structured interviews with members. Using inductive thematic analysis, findings reveal how heteronormativity oppresses and punishes both tongqi and their non-straight husbands. In most cases, husbands not ‘doing heterosexuality’ as expected were still found to be ‘doing gender’ in patriarchal ways, with wives’ subordinate status thereby being reinforced, making them more vulnerable. However, despite women’s sexual autonomy and agency being constrained by normative forces, some were able to navigate their conjugal relationships by practising sexual autonomy and agency within and outside their marriage.

Keywords:

• Heteronormativity
• patriarchy
• tongqi
• sexuality
• sex life
• China

Acknowledgements

We thank respondents for their participation in this study. We also thank Donna Doane and Susie Jolly for their comments and proofreading of a draft of this paper. Finally, thanks go to the editor, journal administrator and anonymous reviewers for their feedback and thoughtful comments.

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the authors.

Additional information

Funding

The research for this paper was financially supported by the Sichuan Research Center of Sociology of Sexuality and Sexuality Education, China (Grant Number: SXJYA2102).