The growth and shaping of a relationship

Abstract

Despite the limitations of the observation role I developed a relationship with the baby, Sarah, whom I observed. This paper discusses my thoughts on the ways in which our relationship was developed and maintained. Sarah initiated and shaped our relationship using gaze, smile and other forms of non-verbal communication. Sharing experiences together further enhanced our relationship. I gained an understanding of her emotional world by attending to countertransference and reflecting on it in the seminar group. Finally, as I brought my own beliefs and experience to the observation this also impacted upon our relationship. My experience in this observation helped me to appreciate how patterns of relating begin from birth and are developed in the first months of life.

Keywords:

• Observation
• relationship
• gaze
• holding
• countertransference
• ambivalence

Acknowledgements

Kerry Beros, Acting Clinical Co-ordinator/Senior Social Worker, Peel and Rockingham Kwinana CAMHS, for her valuable comments and my seminar group for their support, ideas and contribution.