The preschool playground: a longing for a mother to a need for friends

Abstract

This paper explores the close relationship between social and emotional development in the young child. Underlying each new step in social development there is a corresponding movement in the child's internal world and in her capacity to contain anxiety. The exploration is illustrated by material from the observation of a three-year-old girl using material from a weekly, one-hour observation in a preschool nursery playground. The author notes the movement from a painful and cruel-feeling experience of separation to becoming more secure in the playground and being able to be interested in and to use the group of children, then to develop friendships, partly on the basis of seeking comfort from the company of another child. There was a shift from a preoccupation with longing for her mother to an interest in the other children, which led to an active interest in joining in their activities and play and a place in the social life and experience of the group.

Keywords:

• young child observation
• preschool playground
• social play
• containment
• socialisation
• secure attachment

Acknowledgements

I would like to thank Dr Rachael Henry for the thoughtful space she provided in her young child observation seminars. I am also grateful to Dr Joan Symington and Mrs Lisa Miller for their comments on this paper, and to ‘Rebecca’ and her parents for giving me the opportunity to learn so much and write about the experience.