Another man in the house: Oedipal phantasies and the male observer in an infant observation

Abstract

This paper considers the way in which powerful Oedipal phantasies come into play in any observation, arising from the disruption caused by the introduction of a new baby and a new observer into an intimate family environment. It argues that this disruption can take on an added complexity when the observer is a male. The paper uses excerpts from the author’s own infant observation to demonstrate and expand upon these themes that show how Oedipal phantasies and anxieties were a prominent feature of the early months. It focuses on the dynamics arising between the observer and the parents of the baby and comments on the ways in which Oedipal anxieties and phantasies at times unbalance the observational stance, drawing the observer into something that could feel both unsettling and seductive. It also looks at some of the ways in which these anxieties can be gradually contained and managed by both the observer and family. The paper draws parallels between the observer’s role and that of the therapist.

Keywords:

• infant observation
• parents
• Oedipal
• unconscious phantasy
• projective identification
• under 5s
• primary maternal preoccupation

Acknowledgements

The author thanks Mary Lindley and Rajni Sharma at the Northern School of Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, who both looked at early drafts and offered their time, support and encouragement.

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author.

Notes on contributor

Sam Zuppardi has a degree in English Literature and an MA in Social Work. He is currently in the fourth year of clinical training in child and adolescent psychotherapy at the Northern School of Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy. He also writes and illustrates children’s books.