The House of Mirrors. A mother and daughter go to preschool

ABSTRACT

This paper describes the observation of a 3-year-old girl who attends a preschool where her mother also works. The author suggests that some of the ways the observed girl is perceived, as a very visible and audible presence, is related to her attempts to manage in a world which is very different from home, and where mother's behaviour towards her in this new setting is not the same as at home. There are times when the girl feels hurt and excluded by her mother in her preschool role as a member of staff. The toddler's defences are described, and the author suggests that these have a major impact on the mother's perception of her daughter, and, perhaps her teachers’ and peers’ perception of her as well. The adjustment over time to this situation is explored as she grows and develops and her identities’ as a daughter and pupil are established.

KEYWORDS:

• Under 5’s
• young child
• preschool
• misattunement
• separating
• transition
• perezhivanie

Acknowledgements

I would like to thank my tutors Jason Kaushal, Karl Huntbach and Sumi Cannon of the Northern School of Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Leeds, for encouraging me to consider publishing this paper, Rajni Sharma of the Northern School of Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Leeds, and Kate Stratton of the Tavistock and Portman NHS Foundation Trust who both looked at early drafts and Trudy Klauber for her thoughtful comments, patience and guidance throughout.

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author.

Notes on contributor

Samantha Davies has a degree in Combined Arts and a PG Dip in Profound and Multiple Learning Difficulties and Multi-Sensory Impairments. She is currently completing her MSc in Psychoanalytic Ovservational Studies and the Northern School of Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy. She also works with Visually Impaired mothers and their families.

ORCID

Samantha Davies http://orcid.org/0000-0002-0798-5784