‘It's Already Gone Too Far’: Women and the Transition into Marriage in Lombok, Indonesia

Abstract

Kawin lari is a form of socially sanctioned elopement whereby a young woman is ostensibly ‘stolen’ from her natal home by a man who wishes to become her husband. It remains a popular method for entering marriage in Lombok. Typically, the marriage is later formalised under Islam. This paper focuses on marital choice and how women in the village of Teduk who kawin lari, may acquiesce to marriage, rather than assert an active choice over who and when to marry. I argue that kawin lari propels many women into an ambivalent zone which causes a rupture in their social identity as gadis (virgin), although their physical virginity may still be intact. Therefore, kawin lari creates a phase of heightened ambiguity and ambivalence regarding women's status. Many women describe kawin lari as an act that places them in a situation which has sudah terlanjur (already gone too far), although the practice can also facilitate women's agency in marital choice.

Keywords:

• Indonesia
• Sexuality
• Gender
• Lombok
• Marriage
• Youth

Acknowledgements

The author would like to acknowledge funding from the Australian Commonwealth Government Department of Education, Science and Training in the form of an Endeavour Research Fellowship while supported field work in Indonesia. She would also like to acknowledge the receipt of two Postgraduate Research Fellowships from La Trobe University during her time as a PhD candidate at the Australian Research Centre in Sex Health and Society.

Notes

1. The New Order era refers to the period 1966–98 when Indonesia was led by President Suharto.

2. All Indonesian words are denoted by italics, Sasak terms are denoted by italics followed by (S) the first time they appear in the article.

3. The domestic violence laws also include provisions for marital rape, which was previously unrecognised by the Indonesian legal system (see Katjasungkana 2008).

4. Sasak are the cultural group indigenous to Lombok.

5. Agency is a term that has been widely used in the anthropological literature and therefore has had a range of meanings. I interpret agency as a complex concept that is more than merely resistance or opposition to domination. Ahearn (2001), Parker (2005) and Ortner (2006) have produced well developed arguments about agency, particularly with regards to gender. I use Ortner's (2006, p. 139) understanding of the concept which she notes has two faces being: ‘agency as a project’ which people enact when they pursue culturally defined projects; and ‘agency as power’, which is about power and ‘acting within relations of asymmetry and force’. As Ortner notes, these two aspects of agency are not mutually exclusive and therefore agency never consists of one or the other.

6. The name of the village Teduk is a pseudonym, as are the name of participants mentioned in this article.

7. These religious leaders have a great of influence and authority in the local community, see for example Cederroth 2004.

8. Sekolah tuaq literally means old school, referring to the fact that the literacy program is for adults.

9. There are some exceptions to this if the man is considered a woman's muhrim. This includes close non-marriageable male relatives such as fathers, brothers and uncles.

10. An Islamic marriage is actually contracted between the groom and the woman's representative, known as a wali. There are two types of wali: wali nasab, a male member of the woman's paternal family, usually a brother, father or uncle; wali hakim, a male representative, who in Teduk are generally appointed from the community.

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Maria Platt

Maria Platt is a Postdoctoral Fellow at Asia Research Institute, National University of Singapore