The Man in the Mirror: Reflections on Dementia Caregiving in Lebanon

ABSTRACT

In this article, I study the different expressions of grief that I experienced while taking care of my Father who lived with Alzheimer’s for over a decade, in Beirut, Lebanon. As his primary caregiver, I was shocked by the reaction of the medical team who, at times, treated my Father as ‘invisible.’ Drawing on a parallel between Pokr Mher, an Armenian mythological figure, and my Father’s status locked in the house for years, I explore how alienation from friends and family affected him. I stress the caregiver’s significant and under-represented role, possible burnout, and withdrawal from society. In a country entrenched in corruption, and sinking in economic and political malaise, the Beirut Port Blast created an immense wave of collective grief, paralleled and even outweighed by the extracted grief of going through the Alzheimer’s arc. I shed light, too, on the importance of one’s mother tongue in dementia care. Discussing end-of-life matters in one’s own language may carry with it a finality that a second language masks. Finally, in seeking to bequeath meaning to my caregiving journey, I emphasise the role of life writing as a tool of remembering and focusing on the fullness of the forget-fullness journey.

KEYWORDS:

• Alzheimer’s disease
• memory
• grief
• caregiver’s journey

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author(s).

Notes

1 For a detailed discussion of, and creative-critical commentary on, Lebanon’s multilayered physical-cultural illnesses that shaped these street protests and their aftermath, see El Hajj (2021a).

2 William Saroyan (1908–1981) is an Armenian-American writer; he discussed the role of home in his play My Heart’s in the Highlands (Saroyan 1939).

3 Situated in the heart of Beirut, near Mar Mitr, this exceptional NGO aims at keeping the elderly active physically, socially, and cognitively – to help prevent dementia and also to keep older individuals empowered and integrated within society. Elderly people meet there two or three times a week, and their activities are rich and varied. Supervised by a specialised team comprised of a psychologist, speech therapist, nutritionist, nurse, and physician, VAP members participate in many activities and gatherings or parties.

4 For a recent exploration, in the Lebanese context, of the healing potential (and limitations) of life writing, see El Hajj (2022a; 2022b; 2023).

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Nayiri Baboudjian Bouchakjian

Nayiri Baboudjian Bouchakjian is an educator, writer, and storyteller, who witnessed the Lebanese Civil War, as well as numerous assassinations and explosions. She has taught English Language and Literature for the past 19 years, at the University of Balamand, in Beirut. In September 2022, she joined the Lebanese American University as an instructor of English for Academic Practice. She is currently teaching Academic English as well as Literature courses. She is also working on her memoir which includes stories about growing up in a multiple-trauma land, being a caregiver to both her parents, and navigating body image and mental health issues.