Tinder un-choosing. The six stages of mate discarding in a patriarchal technology

ABSTRACT

We analyse rejection experiences in mobile dating applications (MDA), in particular Tinder, based on the variables of gender and age. To do so, we conducted in-depth semi-structured interviews with forty (40) heterosexual Tinder users (10 women aged 18–28 years, 11 women aged 40–60, 10 men aged 18–28, and 9 men aged 40–60). Results showed that rather than explicitly hostile experiences, users encounter a gamified soft-rejection technology where being not-selected or discarded (or not-selecting or discarding others) emerges as an apparently harmless element of a dating experience that is structured into six successive stages (self-classification, selection of partners, match, first conversation, progress, face-to-face). We discuss these findings, concluding that this paradigm may be new but it still mirrors traditional structures of machismo and ageism.

KEYWORDS:

• Rejection
• gender
• age
• Tinder
• online dating

Acknowledgments

The authors would like to thank the editors and reviewers of this article for their comments and insights, which bettered the research considerably.

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author(s).

Notes

1. The extracts from interviews have been translated from Spanish by a professional translator to keep the specific jargon as close as possible to the original spoken style.

Additional information

Funding

This work was supported by the Ministerio de Ciencia e Innovación under Grant PGC2018-101682-B-I00; Departament de Recerca i Universitats de la Generalitat de Catalunya under Grant 2017SGR53.

Notes on contributors

Pilar Medina-Bravo

Pilar Medina-Bravo holds a PhD in psychology from the University of Barcelona and is currently a senior lecturer of Communication at Pompeu Fabra University (Barcelona, Spain) and a member of the Critical Communication Research Group (CritiCC). She is a professor of Power and Gender Diversity in the Media in the program of M.A in International Studies on Media, Power, and Difference. She has published articles and books in her research lines that include gender, feminism, and media. E-mail: [email protected]

Vítor Blanco-Fernández

Vítor Blanco-Fernández is a predoctoral fellow at the Universitat Pompeu Fabra. They hold a MA in Media, Power, and Difference from UPF (2019). They are a member of the CritiCC research group, as well as the projects Mobile Intimacy, LGBTIQA+Screens, and TransmediaLab. Their main research lines are LGBTIQA+/Queer Media Studies, Feminist Criticism, Digital Communication, and Contemporary Art. E-mail: [email protected]

Olatz Larrea

Olatz Larrea is a lecturer researcher and professor in the Department of Philology and Communication at the University of Barcelona. Her research career is mainly focused on the study of sound messages and non-verbal communication in audiovisual media. Her research interests are linked to the analysis of human responses to media exposure, more specific to the analysis of cognitive processes of mediated messages. Currently, her research is framed in the field of cultural studies, with a special interest in gender differences in the use of mobile dating applications. E-mail: [email protected]

Miquel Rodrigo-Alsina

Miquel Rodrigo-Alsina is Full Professor of Communication Theories at Universitat Pompeu Fabra. He has taught at several Spanish and foreign universities. He has been a Researcher at the University of Indiana, Saint Louis University, the Université René Descartes, Paris V and the University of Westminster. He has published more than 160 papers in books and professional journals in both Spain and abroad. E-mail: [email protected]