Sexotic therapy: embracing the exotic, irrational and paradoxical experience of living and loving

Abstract

This paper seeks to shed light on an extraordinary therapeutic approach that I refer to as “exotic sex therapy” or “sexotic therapy”. This approach originated out of my fascination with the irrational aspects of the “living and loving” experience, developed through my understandings of the scientific and non-scientific literature (particularly Persian love poetry) in this regard, and established through my clinical work. Central to sexotic therapy is a conceptual framework that acknowledges and celebrates the erotic life as a complex, ambiguous, exotic and paradoxical journey. It recognises the inherent challenges and paradoxes of maintaining a balanced passionate and intimate long-term relationship and invites embracing obstacles as potentially constructive and excitement enhancing. In this paper, I start with sharing my experiences and understandings of the relevant literature in Part One, proceed with some clinical discussions in Part Two, and finish by illustrating sexotic therapy with a case study in Part Three.

Keywords:

• Persian love poetry
• sex and relationship therapy
• irrational
• paradoxical
• passionate marriage
• intimate relationship

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Alireza Tabatabaie

Alireza Tabatabaie (MD, PGDip SRT, COSRT Acc, MPhil, PhD(c), FECSM) is a medical doctor and COSRT accredited sex & relationship therapist practising in the UK and Iran. He is currently a PhD candidate at the University of Cambridge, UK, investigating the socio-cultural and religious aspects of sexual health and education.