Let's talk about sex: a critical narrative analysis of heterosexual couples' accounts of low sexual desire

ABSTRACT

Background/Aims: Low desire for sex is common in the lives of women and causes distress where there is desire discrepancy in a relationship. Very little research, however, has investigated low sexual desire in the context of couple relationships. Aims of this research were to explore couples' narratives of low sexual desire and to connect these findings to therapeutic practice.

Methodology: Eight narratives were gathered individually from the members of four heterosexual couples in which the woman was experiencing low sexual desire. Narratives were analysed using critical narrative analysis.

Results: Six main themes arose from the narratives, including shared experiences of blame and problematic communication patterns. Entitlement, doubt, and conflation of love and sex emerged as men-only themes, while anxiety over abnormality and seeking causes of low sexual desire were prevalent for women. Identity-focused analysis of the narratives showed the men adopting a role of victim, with the women occupying a role of self-sacrifice. Applying a feminist critique highlighted pathologisation of normal sexual variation, and the dominance of male-centred views about sexuality.

Implications: The results underlined the importance of a systemic approach, normalisation of experience, and the importance of arriving at a shared narrative of low sexual desire.

KEYWORDS:

• Female sexual interest/arousal disorder
• couples therapy
• female
• male
• sexual psychology

Acknowledgments

This research was conducted in partial fulfilment of the Professional Doctorate in Counselling Psychology at London Metropolitan University. No funding was received. The first author would like to thank Kevin Hobbs, highly specialist psychosexual therapist, for his guidance and insight in carrying out this research.

Disclosure statement

The authors have no financial interest or benefit arising from direct applications of the research.

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Jeanne Ling

Dr Jeanne Ling is a counselling psychologist who currently works for Berkshire Healthcare Foundation Trust in the Clinical Health Psychology Service based in Reading. This research was carried out as part of a Professional Doctorate in Counselling Psychology course at London Metropolitan University.

Elaine Kasket

Dr Elaine Kasket is a senior lecturer and the research coordinator on the DPsych in Counselling Psychology at Regent's University London. She was formerly on faculty at London Metropolitan University, where she supervised this research project. She provides couples therapy as part of her private practice.