The plight of the well sibling: A psychoanalytic reflection on a counselling relationship with the ‘healthy child’ in crisis, in a family living with chronic disease

Abstract

This paper is a case study that is the result of a research project that involved using psychoanalytic observation to reflect on a series of counselling sessions. It provides a description of the work and shares some of the psychoanalytically-informed themes that emerged from the experience. The subject of the case is David, a boy who had lost one brother to cystic fibrosis and who had another brother with the disease. David was free from the condition but in crisis. The themes that emerge from reflecting on the sessions helped to illuminate the use of defences to manage the anxiety inherent in the situation for David and the experience of living with the constant, unrelenting theme of death in a young life.

Keywords:

• case study
• sibling loss
• healthy sibling
• doubly bereaved
• loss in adolescence
• reflective practice

Acknowledgements

I would like to thank David and his family for allowing me to share their story, I hope that this paper can add to the literature on the importance of an available mind and heart, for all grieving children and adolescents. I would also like to thank my tutors at Human Development Scotland as well as the student group, for their available minds and hearts. Finally, I would like to thank my mentor, Debbie Hindle who encouraged me in this process and shared with me her valuable insights.

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author.

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Veronica O’Hare

Veronica O'Hare is a Psychodynamic Therapist living and working in Glasgow, with many years experience of work with adults, children and adolescents.  She trained at Manor House Centre for Psychotherapy in London before relocating to the Highlands and then Glasgow and studying with Human Development Scotland.  At present she works clinically for a Children and Young Persons' abuse and trauma recovery service in a social work setting and also provides therapeutic supervision to social workers.  She is a member and mentor for  APPCIOS, the association for psychodynamic practitioners in organisational settings and she is also in private practice.  She is interested in the unconscious in everyday life and using a psychoanalytic perspective to reflect on our emotional experiences.