Desires under reform: Contemporary reconfigurations of family, marriage, love and gendering in a transnational south Indian matrilineal Muslim community

Abstract

I trace here some connections between contemporary reconfigurations of gendering, family and marriage in a matrilineal Muslim south Indian community (Kerala Koyas). I argue that shifts from joint matrifocal households to small neo-patriarchal households are underscored by market reforms, migration processes, Islamic reformism and by modernist processes which work towards purging queer forms of affect and gender in favour of impeccably gendered heterosexual subjectivities. I also note considerable ambivalence and tension within these moves, and argue against any teleological mappings of such moves that would – first – take for granted and – then – celebrate a shift from Indian ‘arranged marriage’ towards a ‘pure relationship’, founded on romantic and passionate love. In thus article, I present recent academic discussions of Western marriage, Indian middle-class and Indian subaltern marriages, and conclude that many commonly drawn oppositions (‘love’ versus ‘arranged’, ‘companionate’ versus ‘ economic-pragmatic’, ‘till death do us part’ versus ‘easy divorce’) are representational fictions requiring sharp critique. I also address the question of moral panic around female-centred households and proffer feminist and queer critiques. Finally, I build upon work by Saba Mahmood and others who are urging Western academics to examine their own production as liberal subjects.

Keywords:

• South Asia
• Muslim
• marriage
• kinship
• gender
• migration

Notes

 1. I have no space to engage with Povinelli's (2011) recent critical discussion of sacrifice except to counter her ambivalence with Terry Eagleton (2009) and John Caputo (2001) on the productive possibilities for (recuperated) Christian ethics, and to promise to write a future paper myself on the usefulness of concepts such as sacrifice, radical hospitality and abundant love.

 2. ‘Gender and Love’ project, http://www.inter-disciplinary.net/critical-issues/gender-and-sexuality/gender-and-love/.

 3. Queer writers have explored the degree to which linear time, normative life-cycle and heteronormativity are tied up together and the place of reproduction and parenting in producing ‘straight time’ (Edelman 1998, 2004; Halberstam 2005; Patel 2006; Dinshaw et al. 2007; Freeman 2010).

 4. See Otnes and Pleck 2003 on how desire is often actually directed towards the ‘wedding’ itself and see also Freeman 2002 on the queer desires hidden/displaced in the very fabric of the wedding.

 5. While the official name is now Kozhikode, I follow usage of most Koya Muslims, who continue to use the old colonial name of Calicut for the town.

 6. On Kerala Muslim use of ‘mut'a ‘marriage, see Koya 1983: 12ff. Scholars of Islam will be interested and possibly surprised to find the common use here of the term ‘mut'a’ for these long-term liaisons; a term which belongs properly to Shia Islam, not to Sunni (Howard 1975), which Kerala's Islam is; being also a technically incorrect usage of the term in any case (since no termination date was fixed; cf. Sunni misyar, no cohabitation expected (Welchman 2010).

 7. cf. Devika's noting that post 1960s productions of/discussions of sexual desire as a ‘bodily need’ cannot imagine female sexual autonomy, but only ‘married love’, as solution to the perceived need (2005, 2009).

 8. An outfit with tight blouse and flimsy veil, worn at the pre-wedding women-only gathering and not considered decent for wear in mixed-sex company.

 9. To see an example of a studio produced commercial DVD of glamorised and idealised oppana and Mapilla pathu for Kerala Muslim consumption, see the super-hit song Palnila Punchiri by Midad. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v = WEAZkr-M6yU (accessed March 1, 2012).

10. See online discussions in English among (mostly non-resident) Koyas on the topic of ‘marriage’ archived in the Thekkepuram web forum (Thekkepuram being the name for the zone of Calicut which is where Koyas have mostly had residence). http://pub25.bravenet.com/forum/static/show.php?usernum = 2082489322&frmid = 381&msgid = 2989&cmd = show.

11. ‘Boyfriend’ here is an innocent relationship consisting mostly of glances, perhaps written letters, and conversation.