Being “Psychologically Held”: Separation and Reparation in the Parent-Child Relationship

Abstract

In the context of child development, this article proposes that “asynchrony,” or brief separation from an attachment figure, is necessary for optimal, emotional growth toward attachment security. Emotional growth is seen as occurring through asynchrony and the repair process that follows. The authors propose to explore the notion of asynychrony in the context of emotional regulation and attachment theory and to relate it to the repair process. Furthermore, the authors plan to understand the possible effects of a lack of asynchrony as well as a loss of the repair process in the context of development. A child's capacity to experience asynchrony changes with development. A caregiver needs to maintain a balance between providing a holding environment and allowing a child to experience asynchrony in a developmentally appropriate way. The authors will address the role of the caregiver in the context of asynchrony and the repair process.

KEYWORDS:

• attachment
• affect regulation
• dysregulation
• asynchrony
• repair