The Dissociative Bond

Abstract

Dissociation leaves a psychic void and a lingering sense of psychic absence. How do 2 people bond while they are both suffering from dissociation? The author explores the notion of a dissociative bond that occurs in the aftermath of trauma—a bond that holds at its core an understanding and shared detachment from the self. Such a bond is confined to unspoken terms that are established in the relational unconscious. The author proposes understanding the dissociative bond as a transitional space that may not lead to full integration of dissociated knowledge yet offers some healing. This is exemplified by R. Prince's (2009) clinical case study. A relational perspective is adopted, focusing on the intersubjective aspects of a dyadic relationship. In the dissociative bond, recognition of the need to experience mutual dissociation can accommodate a psychic state that yearns for relationship when the psyche cannot fully confront past wounds. Such a bond speaks to the need to reestablish a sense of human relatedness and connection when both parties in the relationship suffer from disconnection. This bond is bound to a silence that becomes both a means of protection against the horror of traumatic memory and a way to convey unspoken gestures toward the other.

Keywords:

• dissociation
• bond
• trauma
• intersubjectivity
• potential space
• Holocaust
• witnessing
• intergenerational
• psychoanalysis
• relational
• case study

Acknowledgments

The author would like to thank Prof. Jeffrey M. Gordon, Prof. Tova Feldmann, Prof. Judith Alpert and Prof. Carol Gilligan for their careful reading of the manuscript drafts as well as their insightful comments and valuable feedback.